Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Schweddy Balls

Holy cannoli. I think I have sweat out every last impurity I had in my body.

Three days, 16 sweltering hours, 6 skipping cd's, and forty gatorades later, we have arrived back in Los Angeles. Johnny is back at U of A. We all miss him a lot. I am semi-sick in bed. A successful weekend, if I do say so myself.

I would like to dedicate this blog to Johnny, despite the fact that he constantly reminds me that he simply skims my posts for his name. In honor of him, this entry has the name of the newest Ben & Jerry flavor to come out soon. And no, I am not being facetious-- it's really going to be called Schweddy Balls. Most likely inspired by one of my favorite SNL sketches with Alec Baldwin, where his bakery "is known for their popcorn balls, rum balls and most famously, its Schweddy Balls".


Saturday morning I headed over to Johnny and Jimmy's apartment to meet up. Of course, when I walked in the two of them were plopped on their ground level beds in their pjs. Classic boys. I showed myself around their place and noticed that for some reason, guys always have empty alcohol containers and empty gatorade bottles strewn throughout their apartments. I mentioned this to Johnny as I pointed to his table:

He smiled mischievously, picked up the gatorade, and giggled, "...this isn't quite empty. It has tequila in it". Boys. On another note, Johnny's trademark orange sunglasses broke the night before his departure. How reminiscent of the breaking of the conch shell in Lord of the Flies, right? Marking the end of civilization and social order? No? Eh. Nonetheless we were all sad to see the Johnny-glasses go. The end of a Bang summer era.

We hit the road at 11 am. Rory was nice enough to offer his sweet ride: a Nissan Altima. The problem? No air conditioning. Ahem, I don't think you understand. There was NO AIR CONDITIONING for a trip to Tucson, Arizona in the middle of August.

Allow me to explain something: I am not a diva. I can camp for a week and a half in a tent and have rings of dirt around my ankles and not need a shower. I handle nasty explosive baby diapers like a champ. Growing up I had to wake up every weekend to rake a huge corral full of goat poop for hours on end, not to mention trimming the goats' hooves and giving them shots and deworming them myself. I am not a diva.

But this car ride... was... well... hot. Very hot. There were five of us in a very small sedan. Madison: about 6'3", Rory: about 5'11", Jimmy and Johnny: 5'9"ish (5'10" if you ask Johnny), and me: 5'6½". We were less than comfortable. Johnny, Jimmy, and I were assigned the back simply because Madison needed the most leg room. I had the middle seat for about six of the eight hours on the way out, my legs awkwardly crammed behind the center console. Poor Johnny and Jimmy and I were way too close for comfort and were sweating all over each other. Also, we couldn't all lean back at the same time so we had to take turns leaning forward and back against the seat. Oi. Physically we could handle it, but mentally, it started to wear on us.

As ridiculous as the car ride was, I can't complain too much. We survived and bonded in some sick sort of way. I think Johnny and I were heat-hallucinating on the way out because we were giggling about everything, quoting Super Troopers, The Emperor's New Groove, and crazy Nicolas Cage youTube videos the entire time. They also got some pretty heinous pictures of me sleeping. Rude. But really, who looks good sleeping in a car when you're dripping in sweat and awkwardly leaning backwards? Not me, I'll tell you that much.

Look at our sweet little car ride.

It was hard for Jimmy and I when we first got in to Tucson. Driving by familiar places and seeing the excitement of students walking around was kind of sad. I miss U of A and I am really going to miss being a college kid. But hey-- we have degrees now! (And both working retail jobs... go figure!)

My mom surprised us all with a lovely homemade dinner because she's the sweetest. We had homemade guaca-salsa, pasta, bread, and salad. Delicioso. We were all so grateful for real food and real air conditioning. Later I met the boys at a house party that Jimmy and Johnny's friends were throwing. I walked in and was greeted as such, "Finally, A GIRL'S HERE!". I was outnumbered by about fifteen, until two girls showed at the end, though Johnny said they didn't count though because they played for the other team. I nostalgically watched them play drinking games and chatted with a couple of them.

Saturday morning Alison, Connie, and my mom went for breakfast and then to the movies. We went and saw The Help, though I had already seen it with Leya and Nikolai the week before. Such a great movie, even better the second time. Go see it. Alison and I gorged ourselves with popcorn-- standard-- and then we all did a little shopping afterwards.

Now it's time for a little PSA for all those ladies out there. I recently learned that I have been wearing the wrong bra size for my entire adult female life. (At this point, some of you are wondering why this would make this into the cut of 'interesting/pertinent things to say in a blog post', but to you I say shush-- you're probably wearing the wrong bra size and that's why you're cranky). Mariko called me out at camp while we were changing. She used to do bra fittings at her old job and told me I was way off and should go get measured. Though I shall not divulge my exact error, I will tell you that I was being incredibly modest and when I went to Vicky's Secret to get measured I laughed out loud when she told me my size. Ladies, go get measured. You and your girls will thank me later when they're happy and packed in where they need to be.

Moving on. After hitting Banana Republic (and seeing my friend Laura--- hi Laura!), I drove over to spend some time with my Dad, Uncle Jack, and Gram. We sat outside, discussed our current events and played with my dad's dog, Marley. Then Alison and my mom and I had dinner at Guadlajara Grill, even though we went there last time I was in Tucson. I just can't get enough of it.

Afterwards I met up with the boys on 4th Avenue at a new bar called Mr. Heads. $2 PBR's, where have you been all my life? Oh that's right... in Tucson and not in LA. Johnny bought us a round and we shared our final banter. I'm going to miss him. More than a lot. We have been a special little duo-- very reminiscent of The Odd Couple. He's pretty flaky and lackadaisical and I can be pretty anal-retentive so we have been such a nice balance to each other. The summer wouldn't have been the same without having Johnny as my friend.

Bye Johnny!

My dear friend Danielle came over yesterday morning for breakfast before we had to hit the road. Danielle and I have been very good friends since we met as four year olds, playing with My Little Ponies while we waited for our moms to do PTA silliness in the school office. She moved to California after 6th grade and we tried to see each other every other year or so. Then she moved to Tucson last month to go to the U of A for grad school--- oh the irony and bad timing! (shaking fist). We caught up over coffee and some pretty snazzy homemade oatmeal before the guys came to pick me up.

The trip home was perhaps 59% more miserable. It was simply much hotter outside than on Saturday. We were drenched at every moment. We all took turns feeling dizzy and lightheaded, hence my not feeling too hot right now. (...Which is ironic, because I don't feel too hot because I was way too hot today... bad joke. I don't feel good, gosh!) We stayed hydrated and lingered in the air conditioning as long as we possibly could at each stop. We stopped in Tempe for a Starbucks run-- the only fast food option with real food options-- and saw this sign at a local Italian restaurant:

Really, Phoenix? "Chiken Parmechana"? Goodness. I realize (or hope!) this is a joke but it's just DUMB.

Jimmy drove for most of the trip and I sat in front to give him company. We talked about everything. Love that kid. Rory had a rough time on the ride back. He got sunblock in one of his eyes and it bothered him the entire trip. He was not very happy with the trip in general though-- as he said "Honestly, I hate Arizona. I'm sorry, I do! I'm Irish. I can't deal with this heat. You're crazy". Which I understand-- it's hot in Arizona, no one could argue with that. I supposed you just start to adjust somehow. Here's a picture of Rory at a gas station slowly losing his hold on sanity...

Poor guy.

We got home safe and sound, no problems. We laughed, we cried inside, we loved. A great little jaunt to Tucson-- I miss it! Jimmy and I have already decided that we are going to try our darndest to come back to Tucson for homecoming though-- November 3-5, baby! Woo! Here's to finding an awesome full-time job that loves throwing paid vacation days at me. Right? I'm hitting the job search hard today, too. More applying to HBO and more applying to random Craigslist ads. Something's bound to stick eventually! It was weird coming back to LA--- it felt like I was coming home. Which is such a relieving feeling. I'm finally settling in. But my thoughts are always on the future and onto bigger adventures... but those thoughts are still too young to explore here. After my philosophical blurb on my last entry, Connie looked at me and said, "Knock it off." Note taken. Only topical discussions on my day to day life from here on out! (Maybe).

Kisses everyone. Hope your week is off to a lovely start. I start my 'training' for my 5K today. Which basically consists of just getting outside and running around. Done. Double kisses!

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