Sunday, November 27, 2011



I owe you guys one. So here it is.

Life has been a freaking whirlwind. I have been all over the place recently. I spent the last weekend in San Francisco (best weekend of my life) and my sister has been visiting from Chicago for Thanksgiving. I've been busy with a whole lot of happy, that's for sure.

Most of my writing time has gone to my articles for Red Flag. It has been exhausting, which is really very silly. (Jenny, if you want to be a writer, time to suck it up.) I don't like turning anything in that isn't just right, and it turns out that takes a bit of time. It's not quite like writing this. Writing my blog posts can be very cathartic and freeflowing. That and I don't have to dumb my writing down into digestible paragraphs or use simple language so everyone can understand it. Bleh. But I am so very appreciative and excited I have an outlet to challenge me in my writing. I. Am. So. Lucky.

I start my big girl job on Monday. I seriously can't wait. I have had a nice break from working regular hours recently so I'm ready to get back into a working schedule. Speaking of that, let's take a moment to remember my days at SOS Debt Solutions and say a final farewell to Natasha, my payday-loan-consolidating-sales-girl-alter-ego. I owe that job many thanks for the bizarre stories, flexible hours, and good friends that came out of it. So thank you, SOS. We had a good run.

LUSH has been my little safe haven recently. I love all those girls (and Ricky) so much. Sometimes I feel like I just need to go in there and recharge with lots of positive vibes. When the store is slow we go to to the front door and give each other arm massages to bring people in. It gives us just enough time to fill each other in on what's going on in our lives. I'm known in there as Jenny Love because I always want to talk to everyone about their relationships. Which is hilarious. Before I started working there I was rather cynical about all of that silliness. But thanks to these ladies, I am a rather hopeFUL romantic. They all get there excited to tell me new business. Love 'em.

Now, San Francisco.

Be still, my heart.

(Sigh). I'm in love with that city, though that's nothing new. I always have been. In fact, I recently stumbled upon an old diary of mine. I had planned out my life and what I wanted to accomplish. Here's some of my list:

Graduate from the University of Arizona.
Study abroad in England.
Live in San Francisco or Los Angeles.
Work for a major production company.
Marry some big handsome man.

Well, looks like I'm on a roll! (And 4 out of 5 ain't bad, right?) How cute, look at me and my dreams coming true. I've got some new goals a'brewin', too. Apparently if you write down your goals they magically come true. Thanks, Universe.

Speaking of big handsome men, take a look at this old pillowcase my mom found as she was going through her boxes:

Big, silly, hairy men. Apparently it was in my blood. Gives a whole new meaning to the "Burt" stare...

I'm hilarious.

Anyways, San Francisco. (sigh, again). It was a blast to say the least. I spent part of the first day wandering around the city and letting it speak to me a bit.

I walked up some ridiculous hills, visited with the stinky Occupy SF group (who, let's face it, just wanted an excuse to be lazy bums--their signs were completely off topic), lit some candles in my favorite church, had some poached eggs and a latte at a sweet little French cafe, and even made a stop in the first LUSH I ever went to when I was just thirteen years old. I felt very accomplished to say the least.

I met up with my handsome friend Spencer in the afternoon after he got off of work. We went on a few errands before heading to his apartment to watch the U of A basketball game with his roommate Tim and Tim's girlfriend, Kelly. They're the best. We then somehow ended up watching about four hours of Amish documentaries? I don't know how it happened, but I'm glad it did. They live right near Haight and Ashbury so we went out later to cash in on some food and nighttime entertainment. We had some tapas and sangria at Cha Cha Cha, a swanky little Spanish restaurant across the street from their apartment, followed by listening to some live jazz music. My, we sound classy!

Saturday was dedicated to being a shameless tourist. Spencer was incredibly patient with me, thank goodness. And then...

The Golden Gate Bridge. I finally made it. We took a cab across to the Marin Headlands so we could get a picturesque view. If you want pure joy in its' most raw form, take me there.


We slowly made our way back across the bridge. It was lovely. Very breezy but so peaceful. We then proceeded to the Palace of Fine Arts (where we randomly stumbled upon a Raiders scarf for Spencer), Fisherman's Wharf (bay shrimp and beer included), Pier 39 for a compulsory Ghirardelli chocolate and sea lion watching, and dim sum in China Town. A very small Asian lady yelled "YUMMY YUMMY" at us for a couple minutes until we were convinced she wasn't lying. And she wasn't-- it certainly was delicious.

We were quite exhausted by the end of our long walk touring day. Luckily we got to unwind a bit with buckets of beer and football. We met up with some of Spencer's friends at a bar called the Bus Stop to watch four football games at once. Talk about sports overstimulation. ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNND U of A beat ASU ANNDDDDD it was amazing. Gotta love when those rivalry games go in your favor.

During one of the games I got up to go to the bathroom. On my way in and out of the restroom I was hit on three times-- even asked, "So, do you come here often?" Some bachelor party attendee also asked me if he could have my bra to fill in his checkerboard game slot. Silly boys.

Don't worry, I politely declined. Twice. And no, I didn't recently become really really ridiculously good-looking. Men outnumber women in San Francisco by about 65,000, according to the very real blog "Why There Are No Girls in San Francisco". So, you know, the poor guys probably hadn't seen a lady in quite a while. And there I was, the exotic LA woman that I am.

Afterwards we met up with some of Spencer's fellow Raiders season ticket holders to visit a local bar, Whiskey Thieves. There I was with ten guys. So apparently the ratio is about 10:1. They were all very sweet and inviting. I spent the next morning and afternoon with them, too. We all went to Spencer's friend Chris' house for a fantastically home-cooked breakfast and Raiders watching! I brought a big box of doughnuts and was welcomed with open arms. I love me some football and happy boys when their team wins.

Spencer and I spent the rest of the evening visiting the Painted Ladies (famous for their days on the Full House intro), walking through the parks, eating my favorite BBQ chicken pizza from a little pizzeria down the street, and watching the Sharks game. I remember falling slowly asleep on the couch as the rain sprinkled lightly outside, warm and cozy under the blanket. I flew home early the next morning.

There's something about San Francisco, folks. I just can't seem to wipe the smile off my face while I'm there.

Now here I am, back in LA. It definitely feels like home, but perhaps more so like the home you might be outgrowing. I haven't outgrown in quite yet, but it's starting to feel a little tight around the middle. Though it's exactly what I need for the time being.

I picked my sister up from the airport on Wednesday evening. I hadn't seen Jamie since my graduation in May, so needless to say I was very excited to see her. We had a little slumber party at my house and then headed to my mum's early Thanksgiving morning. We watched some of the parade, drank some coffee and ate some fruit, then headed off to hike Runyon Canyon. (You know, to try and compensate just a little bit for the impending damage that was going to be done the rest of the day). It was such a perfect sunny Thanksgiving!

We got home, had some lunch, and went to work. Pies, turkey, potatoes, creamed corn, homemade beer bread, you name it. Before we knew it dinner had come and gone. It was certainly a quiet little Thanksgiving with just the three of us. We took a walk after stuffing ourselves silly and then capped the night off with Elf. I can't think of anything better than a belly full of good food and one of my favorite holiday movies.

We've been on a very tight schedule with Jamie here. She had a lot of things she wanted to accomplish. We have been to Yoga Shelter every day, which has been a lovely treat for my lazy winter body. We visited City Walk at Universal Studios yesterday to see the Muppet Movie, went to the Griddle for pancakes, Santa Monica beach for sun and swinging on my favorite swing set, and sushi for dinner last night. We woke early this morning to yoga again and then--get this-- stopped by In-N-Out AND Krispy Kreme. She's a nutritionist, ya'll, so you can't judge us too much. I'm going to be sad when she has to head back to Chicago. I do I do I do love my sister.

Phew... time for the week to start. I have got a jam-packed lineup:
- Big girl job!
- Sharks/Kings game tomorrow night with Hilda (I. cannot. wait.)
- Rehearsals for the FEMMESTASTIKS sketch show I'm in (just two weeks away!!)
- Writing, writing, writing
- Yoga
- Seeing Blake's show
- Basic social upkeep
- Bravo benefit this weekend
- Running/jogging/lazy-speed-walking with Colton

Woo. Woo. Woo. Let's do this.

In closing, I hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving weekend. I love the happy, thankful vibes that fly around this time of year. I try to fill each day with a whole lot of gratitude. I am a very lucky, healthy, happy girl. So off I go, to seize some more days. Let me know if you want to join me. I'd love the company and the conversation.


Sunday, November 13, 2011

Butt Puns

This may be hard to believe, but I have too many jobs. Hmph. I haven't been to yoga in weeks, I get five hours of sleep every night, and my writing time has greatly diminished. The whole fifty hour work week thing has been taking its' toll on me. I'm thinking about laying low for a while. And when I say that I mean maybe eight hour days instead of fourteen. I can afford to do that, too. I'm doing okay financially and as soon as I start my big girl job at the end of the month I'll be more comfortable. And then I'll have ONE job to keep straight. JUST KEEP SWIMMING.

That also means more writing time for me. I just received my first ever paycheck for my articles on Red Flag 101! I'm a writer, kids! I kind of wish it was in paper form-- I want to hang it on my wall and take a picture with it. Maybe take a picture of me hanging it on the wall. You know. It's not much but it's certainly a start! To think: I could make a living writing. A girl can dream, right?

Last weekend I had quite a lovely time in Tucson for U of A's Homecoming!

Yeah, we lost. Wish I could say I was surprised. Our poor little football team. It was a lovely weekend though. It was the first time I have been to Tucson without my mom there, so that was weird. It also was a bit inconvenient because I usually am able to drive her car around. My location and activities were invariably dependent on who I was with and their accompanying schedules. Which was fun, of course-- I just felt a bit landlocked at times. I didn't get to see half of the people I wanted to, which was unfortunate. I just had no way of getting back and forth across town. Ah well. I'll be back, I'm sure. I mean, it's Tucson! It's home!

We left early Friday morning-- Me, Jimmy, and two of my sweetest friends from my acting classes at the University, Carissa and Caitlin.

We had such a lovely drive (there and back) discussing every possible topic there was to discuss. There was a whole lot of advice and anecdotes flying around in that car. I LOVE road trip conversations. It was also so nice to find fellow Wildcat friends living in Los Angeles!

I stayed the first night with Bryan in his cute little Polly Pocket house. We went to Guadalajara Grill for margaritas and delicious mexican food. Ohhhhhhh what I wouldn't give to have Tucson mexican food in LA. Boy, do I miss it. Then we woke up before the crack of dawn the next morning to let the college festivities begin.

4:45 am. Woof.

One of Bryan's friends was having a get together at his picturesque college boy house. I wandered into the living room and this is what I found:

Yes. Stadium couch seating in front of a gargantuan flat screen television and beer cans galore. Boys. I'm sure they are quite impressed with themselves. I certainly am.

By the time we arrived there were already twenty or so crazy kids drinking outside in the freezing cold. Somehow we managed to pop a bottle of champagne with our cold fingers to make mimosas. We headed to the Buffet, my favorite Tucson bar, at 6 am. Here we are, walking in the DARK with our mimosas:


When we arrived, I was shocked to see that the place was PACKED. And not full of young people, but alumnis over the age of forty. Their wildcat dedication and punctuality put us to shame. I was able to catch up with a bunch of people I hadn't seen since before graduation. U of A people are the best kind. We left at about 7 am to get some breakfast. It was weird leaving a bar when it was light out!

We had a breakfast burrito at Time Market, then walked to University Boulevard to have even more mimosas at Frog & Firkin, a U of A restaurant favorite. By the time 11 am hit Bryan and I were exhausted. Who's surprised? We went home and took some seriously epic naps. Alison and Andy picked me up a couple hours later to head to the game!

After we had properly assessed that we had absolutely no hope of winning, we left for dinner. I spent the next two nights at their house, introducing them to Arrested Development, going to the movies, and celebrating Alison's 23rd birthday!

A seriously fun weekend. I love me some Tucson.

I've been busy ever since I got home. The Femmetastiks (the all-female sketch group I'm in at Bang) have been in full rehearsal swing! It's going to be a hilarious show, so if you are in the LA area December 10th and 17th at 9:30 pm, please come. Smart, funny women in a seriously smart, funny show.

This last week I have been training like crazy at LUSH. Every morning, from 7-10am, I have been in the store soaking up every bit of information about skin care, eco-friendly sourcing, and holiday sales training. I am a LUSH machine. We had an old-Hollywood party last night to promote one of our new products, "Lustre", which is a gold dusting powder that smells like jasmine. It's delicious--- and it gave us an excuse to dress up and order a popcorn machine! I was in heaven.

I have the best co-workers ever. And boy, do we clean up well! Here's me and my sweet friend Maria:

Speaking of LUSH... who's ready for an embarrassing story? You know, as a paid writer who gets paid to write entertaining things, I should be sharing stories like this one. It's pretty bad. Ready?

At LUSH we have fresh face masks that we get in every Thursday. They're made by hand and incredibly fresh-- you actually have to keep them in the refrigerator and use them within a month. They're packed full of fruit and vegetable enzymes, seaweed, ground almonds, you name it!

Well I'm obsessed with these things. I use one almost every night! All of my co-workers love them, too, and were telling me how they use them all over their bodies. Most frequently they use them on their butts. I thought this was weird initially, but then I remembered one mask called Ayesha that's known for its' tightening agents. So being the curious cat that I am I decided to slather some Ayesha all over my face and rear end to see what the fuss was about.

It was very exciting at first! So tingly and fresh! My bottom deserved some love. I waited a good ten minutes, read some of my book while laying on a towel on my bed, then headed to wash it off. I was in a hurry to get out the door and didn't want to take a full shower. So I tried to brainstorm a way to wash it off fast without turning on the shower head.

Oh! I thought to myself. The faucet on the bottom will work... it's a bit low but I guess I can squat down and scrub it off.

I giggled all the while as I sat under the running water. And then I stood up too fast--- and scratched half of my butt skin off on the nozzle.

If you were wondering-- the face mask did not make my ass look better. Now it just looks like I was mauled by a wolf on one cheek. Cute. The moral of the story is if you want a pretty fanny, don't be a lazy piece of crap and half ass it. (Oh the assortment of butt puns I could use here!)

Aren't you glad you read my blog? So tasteful and classy!

Yesterday Emma and Makena (my sister-in-law and most favorite niece) visited my mom and I for a girls' day! We ate at Paty's in Toluca Lake for lunch and then headed to Makena's favorite store, Justice, to do some shopping.

Back in the day Justice was known as Limited Too-- and was my favorite store of all time. My mother and I did some serious damage there when I was growing up ages 9 to 13. I was so excited to go back and relive some of the magic with Makena. It was a huge fantastic flashback. We helped picked out outfits and accessories and bopped around to the poppy girl-power music. I looked at the sizes and realized that I could still fit into the clothes! And then this happened:

Oh yes. I almost wanted it.

Time for a little Jenny Goal Blurb: I know what I really want to do in life. I want to positively affect young girls. Growing up is a crazy thing, especially when the world can be so overwhelming and at times negative. Girls are full of dreams and hope, they're endlessly curious and completely unsure of themselves. If I could be a part of shaping girls' lives and ambitions, I could die a happy woman.

I'm working on it.

This morning I met some very special friends in Marina del Rey for breakfast-- Bryan, Dan, Max, Dana, and three lovely new ladies from the current cast of the Charles Darwin Experience! They were in Santa Monica for the weekend competing at a college improv competition! And guess what? THEY WON. Yup! They beat out every team on the west coast that entered and are now headed to Chicago in March! I'm so excited for them. I met them at their hotel for a nice little continental breakfast before they had to head back to Tucson. I have really missed performing with the group. It was weird sitting around the little breakfast table with my best friends. I felt like I had never left. Talk about family.

I've got a very busy week coming up! Work, rehearsal, lunch dates, YOGA. All leading up to a very exciting weekend in...


Mmmm. I can just taste the happiness and feel the brisk bay air on my face. All I want to do is wander around the city, nap in a park, and eat food. I sound like a homeless man. I'm preparing by listening to lots of Frank Sinatra, Louis Armstrong, Adele, Amy Winehouse, and Corinne Bailey Rae Pandora radio. You know, the sweet romantic stuff.

I seriously can't wait. Until then...


Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Where are the children?

No October! No! Don't leave me...

ANNDDDD there it goes. Luckily Halloween is the last day of the month. It allows me to honor October appropriately by eating too many sweets, dressing up half-assedly in costumes, and listening to "Halloween Hootenanny" station on Pandora all in one day.

I apologize for my lack of posts recently. It turns out the frequency of my blog updates correlates directly with how stupid busy I am. And I have been stupid busy. I spent the last weekend in Tucson packing my dear mother up to move to LA!

It was a long, fun, tiring weekend. Alison picked me up from the airport bright and early Thursday morning! I was so excited to see her happy sun-shining face. We're two peas in a pod--- really. We cruised across town to my favorite Tucson breakfast place, Blue Willow, for eggs and stuff. I can't remember the last time I spent $6 on a completely delicious breakfast. (The Griddle is certainly not wallet friendly). Here's my sweet little Alison concocting her morning "coffee"...

Yes, that's four packs of sugar and three half & halfs. Gotta love her.

Afterwards I walked to campus to meet with my other best friend, Bryan. We shopped around the bookstore so I could get some more Arizona gear as I've been running low. Then we headed up to his fancy Executive Vice Presidential office located directly above the Student Union. He's a big deal. Don't worry, I took a million pictures being the proud, embarrassing person that I am.

I went home, packed and did more cleaning, then headed to the Holtzen's for a little going away homemade pizza party.


It was a blast. We watched some football, chatted, laughed, ate some pizza, you know--- the good stuff. It's moments like these that I realize just how much I love being American. Really.

Later that evening I headed to the Auld Dubliner to meet up with my crazy friends who are still at the university. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. It was the perfect mix of people. I can't remember laughing that hard in a long time. I have met so many fantastic people since I have moved to LA, but really, these people are like family. It all just comes so easy when I'm with them.

Luckily I am headed back to Tucson this weekend for HOMECOMING! Look at me, being all alumni-y. I'm so excited. And man, did I miss this campus.

Friday morning my mom and I headed to our elementary school. Both my sister and I went there and my mum has been working in speech therapy there for the last twenty-odd years. They threw a little going away party/treat day, complete with yummy goodies and an original song prepared by my favorite little Irish librarian, Pat. It was all very sweet and perhaps a little sad.

I spent the rest of the afternoon packing away, until Alison came to pick me up for the annual Tucson Fire Chili Cook-off!

Andy, Alison's husband and one of my dearest high school friends (I can't tell you how many times he jumped my car after I had left my lights on all day in the school parking lot...), is a firefighter and ran the chili booth all day. There's a competition for the best chili and the best design. His station made this crazy Tiki themed volcano and accessorized accordingly:

Alison and I got tons of free tickets to wander around and sample all the chili. Being the babies we are though, all of the chili was too spicy. And when I say all the chili I really mean the two that we tried and then threw away. I know, we're brats. Instead we used all of our tickets to buy a humongous bag of kettle corn. Who's surprised?

Saturday morning came and went so quickly. The movers came, loaded up the truck, we cleaned the place from top to bottom (because my mother and I have a disease called "we're-obsessed-with-cleaning") and we were on the road by noon. Then... ten hours later... we made it to Toluca Lake. My mom's place is very adorable and very close to me. Perfect. Because I don't have a television. Oh, and I like her a lot, too.

Everything's in there now and she's slowly unpacking things. We had some silly movers help on Sunday morning with all of the furniture and big boxes. They were both old Guatemalan men who were very sweet but not very tactful. At the end of the move, the one man turned to me and said, "Where are the children?" "Uhh... the children?" "Yes, the children. There are boxes with baby things." "Oh! No kids. My mom is just a hoarder." "No, where are your children?" "...I don't have any children, I'm twenty-two." (Man's jaw drops, he crosses himself) "Jesus Cristo! I thought you were thirty-five!"

"...what? You think I'm thirty-five??" "OHhhhh no no no no! Not thirty-five. I thought you were in your early thirties."


I honestly can't even think of anything witty to say. I just hope that means I am going to age well. I mean, I know that packing can tire a girl out, but thirty-five?? I must have been looking haggard. Not that thirty-five means haggard, but it does when you're actually only twenty-two years old.

I have a very busy week before I head home for homecoming. I'm working both SOS and LUSH back to back three days in a row. Today I have roadshow training all day for our new Christmas items at LUSH. Have I mentioned I love working there? I hope everyone's okay with getting LUSH goodies as presents. (How could you not?)

On Monday at SOS (my payday consolidation call center job) we had a potluck and costume contest. I made little slice and bake cat cookies because I didn't have time to make them from scratch. But really, who's complaining? Those things are delicious.

The costume contest was relatively amusing. Red Sox went as Steve Jobs, we had a scary masked Chargers fan, so-called "sexy" pirates, and our new guy, Max, wore a Mexican wrestler mask the ENTIRE day. Even when he was making sales calls. Monday was his first day. I was kind of hoping it wasn't a costume and that he would wear it everyday. Drat. Sarah of course won the costume contest with her homemade Black Swan costume, complete with a two-tiered tutu. Here she is sitting at her desk on her exercise ball:

I went as a lazy football fan... wearing a jersey and black under my eyes. I know... LAME. I wanted to be safe though, just in case no one decided to wear anything. Two men did end up talking to me in the elevator on separate occasions though. So apparently if you want men's attention, the key is to not dress as a slutty mouse but actually as a tired, half-assed football fan.

I had a lot of really great costume ideas this year that never came to fruition. You know when Halloween happens and you think, "Oh man, I have such a good idea for next year!"-- and then you forget completely? Well this year, I actually had a WORD DOCUMENT on my laptop called HALLOWEEN COSTUME IDEAS. There were a good seven or eight to choose from. Rachel and I went to Goodwill a couple weeks ago to scope out some prospects. Then I realized...

When it comes to Halloween, I don't think like a girl. I think like an eight year old or like a hipster man.

My top ideas for this year?

Wayne from Wayne's World, Kip from Napoleon Dynamite, Puss in Boots, and the Brawny paper towel man. I'm used to being bizarre things for Halloween. Last year I was a yellow submarine and the year before that I was Frida Kahlo. Check it out:

You know, just Frida and Peter Pan hanging out, no big.

... Obviously I don't pull off sexy very well. But you give me a mustache and an unflattering outfit and I am SET.

Of course, none of my great ideas actually happened. I was so busy all weekend that I never had time to put them together. I ended up getting out my dirndl from my trip to Bavaria and wearing that last night. Which, come to think of it, is the closest to "femininity" of any costume I've ever worn. It was weird. Jackie's birthday was yesterday so we all surprised her on Halloween night at her friend Rebecca's. I unfortunately couldn't go out with them because I had to be at SOS this morning at 7 am. Boo. Darn jobs.

And now for the exciting reveal... Frasier's Halloween costume!!

...Yup. He hates me. It was worth $8 on Amazon though. Talk about a priceless ten minute photo shoot. This picture appropriately captures his wrath (and the fact that he is quite the chubbers):

...He actually does like me. Some days. Sometimes.

In other news--- I've been keeping up with running. San Francisco half marathon here I come! And guess what? I have a running buddy, too! I received a message last weekend from my dear friend Colton about perhaps joining forces. Colton and I have known each other for a couple years now, as so-called comedy troupe rivals at the University of Arizona and also in most of the same Media Arts classes. He's the best. He may have got me through a couple ridiculous classes my senior year, where some people (who shall go unnamed) pushed us to the end of our tether, patience-wise. We kept each other sane by writing back and forth on our Arizona Daily Wildcat and sharing exasperated facial expressions.

Turns out we're pretty evenly matched when it comes to running, too. And when I say running I really mean jogging. He lives right down the road from me which is completely convenient. When he got home he mapped it out and apparently it was about three miles. Not too shabby for a first run. For now we are just running on Monday evenings after he gets done with work (he's working at Conan! What!) I was surprised to find that I enjoy having someone to run with. Usually I feel self-conscious or nervous that I am going to hold them up. You just have to have the right kind of buddy, I guess!

Hmmm. I am sad to see October go. Luckily for me, November is next. And then December. This is the time of the year that goes by too quickly. The weather is lovely, things seem just a bit more cheery, and delicious food abounds. I'm all about it. But on a more important note... I am headed back to San Francisco! I decided I needed one final hurrah before my big girl job starts at the end of the month, and what better place to do it than in the city by the bay? I'm so excited. And this time, I WILL see the Golden Gate Bridge! For better or worse!

Lots of love and kisses.