Monday, August 29, 2011

A Slice of Humble Pie

Monday morning-- catching up with Bang business, Jenny business, and preparing to head in to take care of some LUSH business. Busy busy.

Friday night was a lot of fun. Nikolai and I ended up going to Ol' Faithful: Outback. Come on-- let's not kid ourselves, chain restaurant or not, that place is delicious. Afterwards we got a celebratory bottle of wine (because he ended up getting the job he interviewed for!) and met up with Rachel, Mariko, and Budd at David and Artur's house. We splashed around in the hot tub, made margaritas, took fake romance novel cover pictures, and basically had an amazing time.

We woke up early the next morning and headed out towards our responsible adult lives. I worked at LUSH all weekend which is always fun. I also treated myself to some sweaty yoga and groceries. Let me tell you, there are few things in life that make me happier than a bunch of fresh flowers. My new favorite? Dahlias.

In other news, my shoulders are peeling like crazy after my most recent sunburn. I feel like Goldmember. Check it:

Blech. Jimmy and I are planning on going to the beach next weekend so I have to recover quickly. (I realize that is a long way off to plan a beach trip, but hey, we work 40+ work weeks, we need something to look forward to).

I don't think I ever discussed that, actually. So Leya (my former camp counselor and forever friend) messaged me a couple weeks ago to see if I was available to help out some of her friends. I headed over to the Grove in West Hollywood (which is like a big fancy outdoor mall that always plays Frank Sinatra and has big majestic romantic fountains), and asked people to take a survey for their acting class. They had to look at the two women I was helping, and just based on appearance, circle what adjectives or types they thought they were on a piece of paper.

It was actually kind of fun, though people did feel bad because they were judging them. It's crazy how much appearance affects our initial feelings towards people. I noticed that the surveys were more harsh when a younger person was filling them out. They were both beautiful women, one in her late twenties and the other in her mid 50s so the least judgmental were definitely the older men. Who's surprised?

I had to get 40 surveys for each of them, which took me about 4 hours. It was a lot of sun time. I was burnt to a crisp, hence the peeling. The saddest part is they gave me $40 for helping them... and then I had to pay $14 for parking. And that's WITH a validation.

Why LA?! Why don't you want me to love you?

I got to meet a lot of awesome people while they filled out the surveys though. Of course I was ignored by more than half of them as they thought I was selling something. Oh well. It was a very interesting experience, nonetheless. And as a bonus, guess who I saw walking down the sidewalk, about ten feet away?

Jennifer Garner.

I was literally right next to her when this picture was taken. It was a very surreal experience. I saw a bunch of paparazzi running down the main street in the Grove, but couldn't recognize anyone. Then I saw her daughters and knew them immediately (which is actually pretty weird). She must have something worked out with the paparazzi, because they knew to keep a distance and to stay hidden. She kept motioning for them to move forward and they would listen.

It was very sad to watch, actually. If I had two sweet little girls and we were shopping around on a Friday morning at American Girl Place, this is the last thing I would want. And that's how her life is everyday. Very sad, indeed.

The moral of the story? Living a humble life isn't settling. And I shall take that with me today as I go to my cute little job, eat some leftover homemade eggplant parmigiana I made yesterday, go to Yoga Shelter, and finally watch my Flight of the Conchords dvd from Netflix. Though don't get me wrong--- I still dream big. Till then.


Friday, August 26, 2011


Welp. Living the dream.

Working full time, sticking it to the man. Wait... I guess I'm the man now. I'm pretty darn lucky I was at the right place at the right time! Though the thought of working 40 hours a week is far from glamorous, it is incredibly necessary for me right now.

I showed up yesterday and was pretty much hired on the spot after a short discussion. Though the one woman I work with (who looks a bit like and sounds A LOT like Roseanne), during the 'interview' turned to my friend Katie and said, "She's too sweet. Too nice." To which Katie replied, "She's an actress, she can rough it up a bit".

Uh. What?

Let's discuss.

First of all, my feathers get ruffled when people say I'm too 'nice'. The sassy side of me (which makes up a good 70%) feels completely unappreciated. Back in college (isn't THAT a hilarious statement) I overheard a guy who I was interested in mention to someone that I "didn't have a sassy bone in my body". Well, wasn't he misinformed. Obviously that didn't work out. Also, when people think I'm sweet it apparently gives them an irrational sense of status and authority over me. Which I soon quash with my quick wit and serious know-how.

Secondly, take a look at what I'm doing. I follow up with people who have multiple payday loan debts. They're exhausted, frustrated, and embarrassed. The last thing they need is for someone to be rough with them. I think they could use a little sympathetic voice on the other end of the line to make them feel like they're being taken care of. Right?

I like this job enough to get me through an 8 hour workday. Everyone is super nice and welcoming, not to mention we're actually helping people out of some pretty crappy financial situations. I also have my own workspace which is incredibly thrilling. I have always wanted my own little office desk and computer to put post-it notes all over.

Check it:

How official! A coffee cup, legal pad, and a plum. But wait. The best part?

I got to pick my own name!

The cat's out of the bag, folks. When you talk to people on the phone when you need help, they're not actually using their real names. (...I'm just now realizing that probably all of you already knew that... right... squid pro ro...) Obviously I was completely giddy when I found out I could have an alias. But then I noticed everyone around me had super boring names. Mary--Carol--Janet... Bleh.

So I chose...


Right? Awesome. We all call each other by our fake names in the office, too. Not to be cheeky but just so things are less confusing when we have to reference each other on calls, etc. Not everyone is wild about my name though. Roseanne-Carol said that it made me sound like a sexy Russian. Then she paused. Stared at me blankly. Then threw her head back in laughter and swiveled her chair back to her desk.

Laugh it up. My name is Natasha and I don't take crap from anyone! Just like Beyoncé has her alter-ego, Sasha Fierce, as soon as I put on my little headset I'm Natasha and I rise above those who underestimate and judge and those who fraudulently charge 40-50% on payday loan debt consolidation.

Oh look, I just found some buttons I can get if people decide I'm their favorite sales person:

And this one will work if I ever get fired for being too feisty:

Perfect. I'm set.

The office has about 20 people working whenever the heck they feel like it, pretty much. For example, one woman who is in my little office area just decided not to come in yesterday. Simple as that. No need to call in, no need to ask for time off if you're going to be out of town in three weeks. Awesome. Just what I need. Most of the people who work here are performers of some sort or have other part time jobs, so people come and go and work whatever hours they can.

I'm all about flexibility in my schedule right now. I'm still waiting to hear about my applications with HBO, etc. so it's going to be perfect when I need to go on interviews. Of course I still put a lot of time into Bang and LUSH, too. And now I can take time off and no one really cares. Which is super amazingly awesome, because guess what? I'm going to San Fran!

Jimmy and I just bought plane tickets yesterday evening and we are incredibly excited. I decided late Wednesday night that I would browse through Orbitz and this beautiful miracle kind of fell in my lap. Basically $130 bucks roundtrip to fly right into San Francisco-- which is pretty amazing because I usually have to go into Oakland and BART it over to the city. YES. My poor little car is happy it doesn't have to make the drive, too. I was worried that my poor little Jimmy (my car is also a Jimmy... oh the confusion) would have a rough time on the hills, since its a manual. Phew. Only two more weekends and I'll be in San Francisco! Which should make these 40 hour work weeks go by faster... or slower... who knows?

Nikolai and I are currently preparing for a night out on the town. Which basically consists of him and I grabbing some Mexican food and crashing at David and Artur's-- he's housesitting. And of course using the hot tub. Darla and her brother may come, too!

I literally just uploaded this picture. Nikolai just got done with a very successful job interview. Look how classy. He got a little dramatic when I told him I was taking his picture. That and he is super hungry and wants to leave AT THIS MOMENT. Rude. If there are any errors in this entry it's all Nikolai's fault.

Alright. We're off to grab some margaritas! Tatafornow.


Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Blurb of a Blog

Greetings, readers. I hope you are well.

I know I am. I am currently nursing a large celebratory glass of red wine, I have a brand new FREE couch in my living room, and I just got a job that allows me to work more than two shifts a week.

Go. ME.

Well, the couch was admittedly not at all my doing. Thank goodness for little friends named Mariko. Mari called me about a week ago offering her grandmother's couch that she could no longer fit into her sassy new elderly living community. Bless her heart. I have had such a problem with finding a couch recently. Couches are pretty personal things and the thought of having someone else's couch that I don't know kind of skeeves me out. Not only did Mariko offer me the couch for free, but she was willing to deliver as well! I don't have any friends out here with trucks (in Arizona it seems everyone and their mom has one), so it was a perfect solution! Budd (Mariko's boyfriend) and Mari drove over from Long Beach and we somehow managed to smoosh it into the elevator. Here we are celebrating our hard work:

Gotta love self timers! The couch is kind of Asian themed with swallows on it. I'm all about putting birds on things.

We celebrated with some pizza, red wine (...I'm a sipper), and watching SNL Digital Shorts. Standard.

This morning I met with Ezra and Lizzie (one of my former sketch class teachers) at Casbah Café in Silver Lake to discuss Bang matters. We're all super jazzed to get things rolling. Bang has such a strong community of fantastic people and we just want to share the love.

As I was leaving I bumped into a college friend, Katie, who mentioned she was headed to work at a call center where people ask for debt help... or something like that. Well I am always looking for a little side money, so I thought I would mention that I am very available if they ever needed help. It couldn't hurt and I am seriously game for anything. And guess what? They do need help. Starting... TOMORROW. Boom. Done. Job. Yes. Making monies. I can answer phones with a cheerful auditory smile! Take that!

All of my other applications to Disney and HBO are just floating randomly in career limbo, I guess. I plan on working there and at LUSH until something *real* comes together. Which... I can feel it... is coming soon. Give me a month.

Becca's brother Johnny is visiting from Florida this week (which is ironic... what did we trade out Johnny's or what?). We took him to iO West to watch Rory's new improv group perform. He's out here looking at a film school specifically for students with Autism and had a really great time auditing one of the classes this morning. How cool that there are opportunities like that-- love it. It's been a lot of fun getting to know him, especially since Becca talks about him so much. He's a go-getter.

Short blurb of a blog, I know. I just felt like writing something. In other news, Jimmy and I have somewhat solidified plans for a San Fran trip over the weekend of September 10. FINALLY. I know you all will want to mark your calendars. Only problem is now I have to reschedule/push back my 5K. Drats. My one goal? To finally get to the Golden Gate Bridge. Of all the times I have been to San Francisco I have never got to see it-- really see it.

Until then, San Fran.

More later. Kisses.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Schweddy Balls

Holy cannoli. I think I have sweat out every last impurity I had in my body.

Three days, 16 sweltering hours, 6 skipping cd's, and forty gatorades later, we have arrived back in Los Angeles. Johnny is back at U of A. We all miss him a lot. I am semi-sick in bed. A successful weekend, if I do say so myself.

I would like to dedicate this blog to Johnny, despite the fact that he constantly reminds me that he simply skims my posts for his name. In honor of him, this entry has the name of the newest Ben & Jerry flavor to come out soon. And no, I am not being facetious-- it's really going to be called Schweddy Balls. Most likely inspired by one of my favorite SNL sketches with Alec Baldwin, where his bakery "is known for their popcorn balls, rum balls and most famously, its Schweddy Balls".


Saturday morning I headed over to Johnny and Jimmy's apartment to meet up. Of course, when I walked in the two of them were plopped on their ground level beds in their pjs. Classic boys. I showed myself around their place and noticed that for some reason, guys always have empty alcohol containers and empty gatorade bottles strewn throughout their apartments. I mentioned this to Johnny as I pointed to his table:

He smiled mischievously, picked up the gatorade, and giggled, "...this isn't quite empty. It has tequila in it". Boys. On another note, Johnny's trademark orange sunglasses broke the night before his departure. How reminiscent of the breaking of the conch shell in Lord of the Flies, right? Marking the end of civilization and social order? No? Eh. Nonetheless we were all sad to see the Johnny-glasses go. The end of a Bang summer era.

We hit the road at 11 am. Rory was nice enough to offer his sweet ride: a Nissan Altima. The problem? No air conditioning. Ahem, I don't think you understand. There was NO AIR CONDITIONING for a trip to Tucson, Arizona in the middle of August.

Allow me to explain something: I am not a diva. I can camp for a week and a half in a tent and have rings of dirt around my ankles and not need a shower. I handle nasty explosive baby diapers like a champ. Growing up I had to wake up every weekend to rake a huge corral full of goat poop for hours on end, not to mention trimming the goats' hooves and giving them shots and deworming them myself. I am not a diva.

But this car ride... was... well... hot. Very hot. There were five of us in a very small sedan. Madison: about 6'3", Rory: about 5'11", Jimmy and Johnny: 5'9"ish (5'10" if you ask Johnny), and me: 5'6½". We were less than comfortable. Johnny, Jimmy, and I were assigned the back simply because Madison needed the most leg room. I had the middle seat for about six of the eight hours on the way out, my legs awkwardly crammed behind the center console. Poor Johnny and Jimmy and I were way too close for comfort and were sweating all over each other. Also, we couldn't all lean back at the same time so we had to take turns leaning forward and back against the seat. Oi. Physically we could handle it, but mentally, it started to wear on us.

As ridiculous as the car ride was, I can't complain too much. We survived and bonded in some sick sort of way. I think Johnny and I were heat-hallucinating on the way out because we were giggling about everything, quoting Super Troopers, The Emperor's New Groove, and crazy Nicolas Cage youTube videos the entire time. They also got some pretty heinous pictures of me sleeping. Rude. But really, who looks good sleeping in a car when you're dripping in sweat and awkwardly leaning backwards? Not me, I'll tell you that much.

Look at our sweet little car ride.

It was hard for Jimmy and I when we first got in to Tucson. Driving by familiar places and seeing the excitement of students walking around was kind of sad. I miss U of A and I am really going to miss being a college kid. But hey-- we have degrees now! (And both working retail jobs... go figure!)

My mom surprised us all with a lovely homemade dinner because she's the sweetest. We had homemade guaca-salsa, pasta, bread, and salad. Delicioso. We were all so grateful for real food and real air conditioning. Later I met the boys at a house party that Jimmy and Johnny's friends were throwing. I walked in and was greeted as such, "Finally, A GIRL'S HERE!". I was outnumbered by about fifteen, until two girls showed at the end, though Johnny said they didn't count though because they played for the other team. I nostalgically watched them play drinking games and chatted with a couple of them.

Saturday morning Alison, Connie, and my mom went for breakfast and then to the movies. We went and saw The Help, though I had already seen it with Leya and Nikolai the week before. Such a great movie, even better the second time. Go see it. Alison and I gorged ourselves with popcorn-- standard-- and then we all did a little shopping afterwards.

Now it's time for a little PSA for all those ladies out there. I recently learned that I have been wearing the wrong bra size for my entire adult female life. (At this point, some of you are wondering why this would make this into the cut of 'interesting/pertinent things to say in a blog post', but to you I say shush-- you're probably wearing the wrong bra size and that's why you're cranky). Mariko called me out at camp while we were changing. She used to do bra fittings at her old job and told me I was way off and should go get measured. Though I shall not divulge my exact error, I will tell you that I was being incredibly modest and when I went to Vicky's Secret to get measured I laughed out loud when she told me my size. Ladies, go get measured. You and your girls will thank me later when they're happy and packed in where they need to be.

Moving on. After hitting Banana Republic (and seeing my friend Laura--- hi Laura!), I drove over to spend some time with my Dad, Uncle Jack, and Gram. We sat outside, discussed our current events and played with my dad's dog, Marley. Then Alison and my mom and I had dinner at Guadlajara Grill, even though we went there last time I was in Tucson. I just can't get enough of it.

Afterwards I met up with the boys on 4th Avenue at a new bar called Mr. Heads. $2 PBR's, where have you been all my life? Oh that's right... in Tucson and not in LA. Johnny bought us a round and we shared our final banter. I'm going to miss him. More than a lot. We have been a special little duo-- very reminiscent of The Odd Couple. He's pretty flaky and lackadaisical and I can be pretty anal-retentive so we have been such a nice balance to each other. The summer wouldn't have been the same without having Johnny as my friend.

Bye Johnny!

My dear friend Danielle came over yesterday morning for breakfast before we had to hit the road. Danielle and I have been very good friends since we met as four year olds, playing with My Little Ponies while we waited for our moms to do PTA silliness in the school office. She moved to California after 6th grade and we tried to see each other every other year or so. Then she moved to Tucson last month to go to the U of A for grad school--- oh the irony and bad timing! (shaking fist). We caught up over coffee and some pretty snazzy homemade oatmeal before the guys came to pick me up.

The trip home was perhaps 59% more miserable. It was simply much hotter outside than on Saturday. We were drenched at every moment. We all took turns feeling dizzy and lightheaded, hence my not feeling too hot right now. (...Which is ironic, because I don't feel too hot because I was way too hot today... bad joke. I don't feel good, gosh!) We stayed hydrated and lingered in the air conditioning as long as we possibly could at each stop. We stopped in Tempe for a Starbucks run-- the only fast food option with real food options-- and saw this sign at a local Italian restaurant:

Really, Phoenix? "Chiken Parmechana"? Goodness. I realize (or hope!) this is a joke but it's just DUMB.

Jimmy drove for most of the trip and I sat in front to give him company. We talked about everything. Love that kid. Rory had a rough time on the ride back. He got sunblock in one of his eyes and it bothered him the entire trip. He was not very happy with the trip in general though-- as he said "Honestly, I hate Arizona. I'm sorry, I do! I'm Irish. I can't deal with this heat. You're crazy". Which I understand-- it's hot in Arizona, no one could argue with that. I supposed you just start to adjust somehow. Here's a picture of Rory at a gas station slowly losing his hold on sanity...

Poor guy.

We got home safe and sound, no problems. We laughed, we cried inside, we loved. A great little jaunt to Tucson-- I miss it! Jimmy and I have already decided that we are going to try our darndest to come back to Tucson for homecoming though-- November 3-5, baby! Woo! Here's to finding an awesome full-time job that loves throwing paid vacation days at me. Right? I'm hitting the job search hard today, too. More applying to HBO and more applying to random Craigslist ads. Something's bound to stick eventually! It was weird coming back to LA--- it felt like I was coming home. Which is such a relieving feeling. I'm finally settling in. But my thoughts are always on the future and onto bigger adventures... but those thoughts are still too young to explore here. After my philosophical blurb on my last entry, Connie looked at me and said, "Knock it off." Note taken. Only topical discussions on my day to day life from here on out! (Maybe).

Kisses everyone. Hope your week is off to a lovely start. I start my 'training' for my 5K today. Which basically consists of just getting outside and running around. Done. Double kisses!

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Setting the Mood

Okay. Popcorn popped. Window slightly ajar. Yorkshire tea in hand. The mood is set. Ahem...

But wait! Pardon my inattentiveness-- allow me to set the mood for you, too. Here are some songs for you to play while reading this. Some of my favorites at the moment:

- Two Weeks by GRIZZLY BEAR:

- You Give Me Something by JAMES MORRISON: (Poor James Morrison. It's better if you don't watch him singing this. It ruins the illusion.)

- Starlight by MUSE:


I started thinking this morning how important "setting the mood" is in our everyday lives. You know that feeling when something happens that you've been waiting for, and you think "No! No no! Stop, that's not at all how I pictured this. The situation is all wrong. Can we try this again?" Recently I've been really into visualizing future desires but only focusing on the end result. For example: I know I want to one day have a great little place and community, but I'm not sure where that is quite yet. So I just visualize the feeling that end result is going to give me: happiness, comfort, peace, excitement. Then the Universe figures out all of the details on the way.

It's okay to be more specific for visualization purposes, but not to attach too fervently to them. Use them more as inspiration to find those feelings. Recently I've been visualizing this: I'm in an apartment with a view of a delightful city, covered in lights. Listening to French jazz with warm cozy lighting... a little balcony with glass doors open just enough... ... perhaps in heels and a sassy dress, slow dancing slowly around the living room. But of course I don't know where or when. Just a little visualization. But if you keep things open, then it will all unfold into more of an adventure. I don't want to limit the Universe's capabilities, you know? Much more exciting that way.

If you're wondering what the heck I am blathering on about, check out the documentary/book The Secret, anything by Mike Dooley, or visit and sign up for "Notes from the Universe" daily emails. All pretty amazing.

I have had the most lovely day. I woke up and went to Yoga Shelter at 7 am, despite not sleeping too well last night. Then I made a yummy little breakfast sandwich with a whole wheat english muffin and a pile of scrambled eggs and veggies. NOM. Then --get this-- I took a bath.

Life is hard.

It was so delightful and so necessary. Speaking of setting the mood-- I lit candles, put on a fresh LUSH mask, arranged a special little playlist on my iTunes (featuring A Fine Frenzy, Beyoncé, and perhaps even some J.Biebs... shh), and finally used one of the million LUSH bath bombs I have sitting in a basket by my tub. This was my pick:

Yes it is called 'Sex Bomb'. The combination of scents and essential oils (jasmine, vanilla, and ylang ylang) creates a natural aphrodisiac. Jasmine and vanilla are also part of an old recipe for love potion. So, if you notice you are slowly falling in love with me, it probably has to do with LUSH. Sorry about that.

A seriously awesome bath. Despite my setting the mood-- it wasn't quite as perfect as I had planned. Frasier was very annoyed/nervous about me being in the bathtub surrounded by purple water. He just stared at me from the top of his litter box with huge cat pupils and meowed the whole time. So much for being peaceful.

Oh man, I also just found the 69¢ section on iTunes! What?! Does everyone know about this? The price of songs on iTunes always seems to be going up. But 69¢? That I can do. I got about ten new songs, one of them being this really weird indie song by a band called Dawes. The song is called "Time in Los Angeles". It's not very good. I pretty much got it because it said Los Angeles in the title. Ha. Well, that and listen to this lyric:

"You've got that special kind of sadness/ You've got that tragic set of charms/ That only comes from time spent in Los Angeles/ Makes me want to wrap you in my arms."

...Uhhh... I can't tell if that means I am special and unique because I have lived in LA or if that makes me kinda pathetic and hollow? Eh? Whatever, it was 69¢. It's already paid for itself in thoughts.

I've had a busy last couple of days, too. Thursday night was very exciting at Bang, thanks to the Fred Willard sketch show and Schwag. Johnny's dad was in town so we all headed to Sam's after the show to celebrate with margaritas... with bananas in them... Don't look at me, it wasn't my idea. But I kind of wish it was, it was super delish.

Rachel went back to NorCal for a dentist appointment (teeth are important! At least in America...) so I drove back and forth between LAX dropping and picking her up. Also, I finally got my freaking room in order. And oh man, does it look GOOD. Check it.

The sleeping area...

The dresser-ing area...

The scarf-ing area...

The shelf-ing and guitar-ing area...

...and the bathing area.

Pretty snazzy, right? I feel so much better now that everything has a place... oh gosh... again, setting the mood... see what I'm talking about?

On Saturday night after fixing up my place I drove out to Long Beach to meet Mariko. We have a very, very strange tradition of making chocolate chip cookies for Bravo events. But I'll get to that later. Mari was stuck at work so I tried to find a grocery store around her house to get last minute ingredients. I was on the phone with Jackie and somehow got lost despite the fact that I have a GPS... ending up in Lil' Mexico.

I found a grocery store called "Northgate Market". I couldn't find a darn Vons or Stater Bros to save my life so this would have to do. I walked in and everything was in spanish. I got lots of weird, weird looks. I tried to look less white but failed miserably. Stupid skin color. But then-- all of a sudden all of my magical spanish speaking skills came back to me! Just kidding. I found the nearest exit and left. I didn't realize there were mexican food markets! How exciting! I thought they only had asian markets. I'm not forgetting that. As I walked out I checked the sign again. "Gonzales' Northland Market". Ah, I see. Details, kids. Details.

Rule #1: Pay Attention.

I drove back to Mari's and we made my special chocolate chip cookies from scratch! Delish. Okay so the cookies... about 3 years ago now I made the drive out to California to see Blake in a very humorous version of Midsummer Night's Dream. While Mari and I were out walking around Long Beach, we stumbled upon a crazy adult store. We left with a rainbow cat sticker for Frasier's carrier (because he has lots of gay cat pride) and phallic cookie cutters. We made some for Blake's show and thought we were pretty hilarious. Well now that I live here, we have no excuse to not use those cookie cutters. People love them for some reason. Pair their silly shape with my delicious cookie dough and its a recipe for entertaining success.

Yup. They're big cookies.

We drove out to Huntington Beach where a couple Bravo friends had reserved two hotel rooms for us to hang out in. We played games, had a funny little version of trust circle, and had lots of jello shots. We all get along very well, despite little doses of drama-- but what else would you expect from family?

Aww... and look at this.

That's my senior picture in Nikolai's wallet! I gave that to him four years ago and he still has it in there, right after his sister. I'm honored.

Such a fun weekend with Bravo. But who's surprised?

In other news: I am contemplating grad school. I KNOW. What? Why?

Here's my reasoning:
1) I kinda like school (in some sick twisted way)
2) People will take me more seriously when looking for jobs/as a writer. Everyone has a bachelor's these days...
3) If I could find a program that has some sort of work/study/teaching assistant option I could go to school and still 'get paid'. Well, that's the idea at least.

I'm going to see how this next year goes, I guess. I started looking at some programs online, mostly in Northern California... and some in the UK. One in Bath and one at... UEA in Norwich. Which made me very homesick for England. Waa. We'll see how much money I rake in this year (that means I'm going to make so much money that I will need a room where I tend to it with actual garden tools-- WOW). I'll keep ya'll updated once I start getting info in the mail that I requested.

The sketch show I was in just technically 'closed' this weekend. We are in talks to extend it though! Here's a little pic for those of you who missed it:

Man that show was hilarious. And I really can't say enough good things about these people. Super awesome and a true delight to work with. I'm missing them already.

So bad news: we had to cancel our San Francisco trip. A little A lottle bummed out. Johnny has to go back to Tucson to finish his last lame semester of school. Rude. But that means I am headed to Tucson this weekend! Woo! Johnny, Jimmy, Rory, and I are roadtripping down for the weekend to drop lil' Johnny off at school. I can't wait to head back to have a little more time with family and friends, especially after only having 24 hours in Tucson when I went to grab my stuff a couple weeks ago. San Fran will happen one day though. Jimmy and I are looking at the first weekend of September. So... yay!

Alrighty, I'm off to make some dinner. Rory has a show at iO West so Becca, Johnny, Jimmy, Madison, and I are headed over there tonight. Then who knows? The world is my oyster. Well, it's yours, too. We can share. Kisses.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Lovely Jubblies

Life is good. Sitting in my breezy little apartment in Studio City, enjoying an inaugural artichoke and froyo Ben & Jerry's-- not simultaneously. Spent the morning driving Rachel to the airport, completing errands, wandering and fantasizing through IKEA, and pretending I'm being active by wearing workout clothes and tennis shoes. Today is especially good because I just had what Oprah would refer to as an "Aha" moment.

I want to write.

What started as a blog to update others on my progress in LA has turned into somewhat of a passion. My mind is constantly collecting ideas and events to write about later. I don't feel forced into writing--- in fact, I'm kind of in love with it. There are tons of writers out in the world, why can't I be one of them?

Imagine: reading a weekly column or blog post about things you should know/care about, written by yours truly. Comedic commentary on everyday things. Classy. Fun for the whole family.

Move over Carrie Bradshaw, there's a new sassy writer girl in town! (...with much less provocative content, believe me).

Now I just need to find an Aiden...

I've been keeping an eye on Craigslist jobs in LA and have been spending most of my time on the writing/editing jobs section. Lots of blog writers needed, lots of editing web content, etc. I could definitely see myself loving that. I usually spend a good two to three hours (if not more) on each of my own blog posts, writing, editing, and carefully rewording things to make my entries digestible to everyone (not just mothers who will sit through anything with a proud smile). I love writing. Now just to find an outlet that pays more than this one... (I think I'm up to $1.52 from ads on my blog. YES.)

Good. Goal set. Game on. Step one: apply for said Craigslist jobs. Will do, after I finish writing this.

Also on my list of things to do today: send in Frasier's application for "My Cat from Hell", a new Animal Planet show about-- you guessed it-- demon cats who ruin lives.

Yikes. Anyone who knows Frasier will understand the likelihood of him getting on this show. The ad was on Craigslist (which is ironic, because that's where I got Frasier) and was offered only to those with possessed cats in the LA area. Perfect. It promises a $1000 compensation and a "well-behaved" cat. Ha. Frasier has recently mutilated my right leg and foot, complete with deep gashed scratches and bruises. And he doesn't do this to just anyone. Only me. Lucky, lucky me. When he wants to love, there isn't a cat who's sweeter. But if I am gone for too long or I'm at the house during his nap time, my ankles and legs are fair game. It's pretty embarrassing, really. But he's going to get some help soon hopefully. Hmm... apparently from this guy, Jackson Galaxy:

Riggghhhtt. Squid pro ro. Well if I can't succeed as a writer I guess I can always just grow out my goatee and be a cat whisperer. I think Frasier has a pretty good chance of being on the show. He's pretty photogenic and almost angelic looking which could make for quite a good twist.

And I think I could be relatively entertaining as well. Especially when they have to film him being a jerk and I have to bleed. Luckily I have a high pain tolerance. Check it:

Woof. I'm in an abusive relationship... with my cat.

Moving on. Tuesday I had my LUSH skin care training! It was incredibly fun. I got paid to watch videos of English people talk about skin care, get a facial, and I got free stuff, too (Not to mention I accidentally took a purple pen that I am kind of obsessed with... oops!). It was a blast.

Most of the people that work at LUSH are either girls or gay boys (kind of like our audience at Darwin shows, amiright?). For the training they collected several LUSH stores from the LA area together, meaning lots of new faces. One guy stuck out like a sore thumb. He looked a bit like Jim from The Office, tall and vulnerably attractive. He was also refreshingly straight, making him the focus of everyone in the room. He must love his job. When we had to pair up for facial massages, my partner girl was whisked off for demonstrational purposes. Leaving me alone. I sheepishly announced to the room that I was the loser without a partner. When from across the room waves Jim-boy.

Ohhhh the looks I received from girls and boys alike. It was ridiculous. He was a very nice guy named Garrison. Unfortunately I made everything very awkward very fast though. I mean, we were going to be massaging each others' faces. Really, the odds were against me being normal in this situation.

With facial massages you have the person sit in a folding chair in front of you and have them lean the back of their head against your body. Well with our proportions, he was basically cradled between my... well, boobs. Oi. I made some really pathetic LUSH joke-- we have a product called "Lovely Jubblies", a lotion that we recommend for putting on your neck, chest and decolletage to tighten everything (because it has evening primrose and tiger lilly extract in it-- hey, I just went through eight hours of skin care training!)-- so I said, "Ulll... Uh oh. This might be awkward. Looks like you have a front row seat to 'lovely jubblies'. Heh. heh.".

Yup. The things I say. (shakes head). He chuckled dutifully and said he didn't mind, and I'm sure he didn't. We then had to switch. He had to squat down so I had something besides his crotch to lean up against. Ugh. His poor hands were shaking and WAY too big for my face. The leader-girl kept coming around and telling him to be careful not to smother me. Ha. It was very silly. My friend Ricky made faces at me the entire time, then awkwardly joked afterwards that it looked like "the best first date, ever". Goodness. All in all a good training day. I start work at the Glendale location this weekend! What up, ten minute drive!

I've been spending most of my free time with Mariko, Rachel, Blake, and Nikolai. Like I said before, every year when I get back from Bravo there is a withdrawal period that is only made easier with Bravo interaction. We all still can't get over the fact that I live here now. Yesterday Mari and I wandered around Target for an hour or so with no real intention. Those are the kind of things I miss out on when I don't live with friends-- the little moments. Here's a picture of Mariko looking super asian in a Target hat:

I mean, she usually looks asian, she's half-japanese. Still funny.

I'm headed to Bang in a little bit. Fred Willard and his Mo-ho group are back in town, woo!

In other news, Johnny, Jimmy, Becca and I are planning a trip to San Francisco in a week or so and I really could not be any more pumped. Really.

Thanks everyone for reading along. One day when I am a very posh, famous writer you can claim that you read my stuff before it was cool to do so. And then I'll sign things for you and give it to you for 20% off.