Thursday, September 22, 2011

Manly Bits

Like sands through the hourglass... so are the days of our lives.

Phew. How's everyone doing? I can hardly believe that it's already the tail end of September. How did that happen?

I've been a little under the weather recently. I'm thinking it has a lot to do with my not sleeping. Who's surprised. I worked 14 hours on Monday: 9 of them consolidating debt and the other 5 making people look and smell beautiful at LUSH. Look at me, helping people and brightening their lives right and left. A modern day Mother Teresa, really.

Once you're in the swing of things, work can get a little addicting. It's sick really. But I cannot tell you how excited I am to get two fat checks tomorrow. And when I say fat I really mean husky. Eh, okay, big boned. They have a fast metabolism, okay?!

I have had a lovely lady-like evening tonight: Happy Hour with Rachel, Yoga Rocks at Yoga Shelter (I almost passed out/vomited--- good class... note to self: don't do Happy Hour before yoga), a delightful candlelit bubble bath, "Love is in the Air" station on Pandora (completely commercial free and romantically delightful to boot), apple tea, and a manicure by yours truly. I have been feeling pretty manly the last couple days so I had to get back in touch with my feminine side.

Allow me to elaborate.

Friday night Jimmy, our friend Kate (also a Wildcat!), and her roommate and I all went to go see Drive with Ryan Gosling.


Yes, you're right. It was great. And yes, Ryan Gosling was quite dashing.

But no, you're wrong. It wasn't a "fast-and-impressive-car-driving" kind of a movie. It was a "Let's-savagely-kill-everyone-and-do-it-in-the-most-disturbing-way-possible" kind of a movie. I started to get kind of sick by the end of it all. Bleh. But the soundtrack was really good...? Don't get me wrong, it was a pretty fantastic movie. Just don't go expecting to see sweet driving and crazy stunts. That's what all eight of the The Fast and the Furious movies are for. Duh.

We went to the Arclight movie theatre on Sunset which was quite the experience. It's surrounded by cascading waterfalls when you walk in. Only in Hollywood. Here's the inside, which looks less impressive than it actually is, but still, you get the picture. Grand Central Station, anyone?

After the movie Jimmy and I were walking back to my car, discussing all of the brutal murders we had just fictionally witnessed, when we got to a four-way stop. We waited, looked both ways, then proceeded to cross the street as we saw the car came to a stop for us. Standard. Then as we crossed to the other side of the street, this crazy lady stuck her head out of the back window and yelled at the top of her lungs: "KIM KARDASHIAN BITCH!!"


I'm sorry I had to bring you into this, Bert.

I suppose there are worse things to be called. I could have been called a "ROSIE O'DONNELL HO" or the ever-insulting "HILLARY CLINTON C-WORD". Kim Kardashian? I'll take it. A'thank-you, ma'am. Have a good evening and I apologize for upsetting you with my sultry good looks and pulchritudinous posterior.

Clearly we're twins.

(This is where I would insert the Bert Stare if I hadn't already used it.)

After recovering from the semi-hurtful insult/compliment, Jimfi and I went to In-n-out by our apartment to scarf down some snickysnacks. Los Angeles nightlife will never cease to amuse me. We made friends with a group of drunk, promiscuously dressed seventeen year olds who had just got out of a Ke$ha concert. We were so happy they decided to talk to us. They were hilarious.

This is pretty much what they looked like but with a little more glitter. And maybe a little less creepy. Yeesh.

They thought that Jimmy and I were nineteen and almost fell off their chairs when we said we were 22 and 23. "Oh magahh you guys are SOOO OLLDDDD. Sorry we're so LOUD but we're so DRUNNNNKKK".

Okay, girls. First of all: who let you out of the house dressed like that? Your epidermis is showing. Second of all, don't you know you shouldn't have glitter so close to your eyes? You're just asking for an infection. And finally, who the heck let you go to a Ke$ha concert?

Come on moms. Step it up. Your daughters clearly need attention. Set some standards.

I'm not going to lie, they were certainly amusing and somewhat endearing. As we were leaving I made sure to remind them to respect themselves and "don't chase the boys, let the boys chase you" (something my mother would say to me every morning as I left the house... starting in second grade on...). They drunkenly slurred something incoherent. Sweet. This is why you put your daughters in girl scouts and don't let them shave their legs till they're in middle school. Just sayin'.

Tuesday night Rachel and I went to see WARRIOR! It was seriously fantastic. Rachel wasn't super wild about it but I actually loved it. It's about MMA (mixed martial arts) which is basically insane-monkey-no-rules-fighting. It's ridiculous. But it was a really well-done movie and I highly recommend it. That was part II of my manly experiences.

And part III? Going to the Sharks vs. Ducks hockey game in Anaheim last night!

I have always loved going to hockey games. Now that I can't go to the U of A Ice Cats games, I was in the market for a pro hockey team. Unfortunately that now means that I no longer get to pay $8 for tickets or be able to move around and sit wherever I darn well please whilst being surrounded by redneck Tucsonans. Such is life. Rachel is from the Bay Area and is therefore a HUGE San Jose Sharks fan. I simply mentioned a couple months ago that I needed a hockey team and the rest is history.

Going to a hockey game with Rachel is kind of like going to a public execution with a serial killer. She gets a little into it. Which is sweet, really. People from all directions were very confused how this preciously freckled red head girl could get so heated and nasty about hockey. But she does. She yells at all of the players and calls them by their first names, or as Rachel says, their "Christian names". It's ridiculous. People kept asking her for backstories about the players and about trades, etc. She knows her Sharks, let me tell you.

I can't imagine a better night to officially begin my fandom.

After the Sharks dutifully beat the Ducks 6-1, USC's hockey team played UCLA. It was sad. The college band playing, all of the students bundled up in their school colors, chanting their fight song. I got a little sentimental. I'm not a college kid anymore. I'm an adult. An adult with responsibilities and goals in life. Humph. I miss being a carefree Wildcat. It was weird realizing that I only get to look back on my college years now. They still seem so sweetly recent. Boo. I need more Zona gear.

I've got a busy weekend ahead of me. My mum is coming to visit! A girl needs her mom every now and then, or else I would be wearing holey booty shorts and my hair would be all ratty. Oh! And my nephew Mason's 4th birthday party is on Saturday! I am super excited to see the little stinker. Kids birthday parties are kind of the best. There's usually some pretty delicious finger food and someone always cries. Dinner and a show.

I should probably get to sleep. I have to be at work at 7 am, everyday. I KNOW.

Ah well. This is the time for me to be doing everything in life in a comedically crappy way, right? I've got the right mindset though. Bring it on, humorously fickle life. BRING IT.


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