Where are the children?

No October! No! Don't leave me...

ANNDDDD there it goes. Luckily Halloween is the last day of the month. It allows me to honor October appropriately by eating too many sweets, dressing up half-assedly in costumes, and listening to "Halloween Hootenanny" station on Pandora all in one day.

I apologize for my lack of posts recently. It turns out the frequency of my blog updates correlates directly with how stupid busy I am. And I have been stupid busy. I spent the last weekend in Tucson packing my dear mother up to move to LA!

It was a long, fun, tiring weekend. Alison picked me up from the airport bright and early Thursday morning! I was so excited to see her happy sun-shining face. We're two peas in a pod--- really. We cruised across town to my favorite Tucson breakfast place, Blue Willow, for eggs and stuff. I can't remember the last time I spent $6 on a completely delicious breakfast. (The Griddle is certainly not wallet friendly). Here's my sweet little Alison concocting her morning "coffee"...

Yes, that's four packs of sugar and three half & halfs. Gotta love her.

Afterwards I walked to campus to meet with my other best friend, Bryan. We shopped around the bookstore so I could get some more Arizona gear as I've been running low. Then we headed up to his fancy Executive Vice Presidential office located directly above the Student Union. He's a big deal. Don't worry, I took a million pictures being the proud, embarrassing person that I am.

I went home, packed and did more cleaning, then headed to the Holtzen's for a little going away homemade pizza party.

YUM-O!

It was a blast. We watched some football, chatted, laughed, ate some pizza, you know--- the good stuff. It's moments like these that I realize just how much I love being American. Really.

Later that evening I headed to the Auld Dubliner to meet up with my crazy friends who are still at the university. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. It was the perfect mix of people. I can't remember laughing that hard in a long time. I have met so many fantastic people since I have moved to LA, but really, these people are like family. It all just comes so easy when I'm with them.

Luckily I am headed back to Tucson this weekend for HOMECOMING! Look at me, being all alumni-y. I'm so excited. And man, did I miss this campus.

Friday morning my mom and I headed to our elementary school. Both my sister and I went there and my mum has been working in speech therapy there for the last twenty-odd years. They threw a little going away party/treat day, complete with yummy goodies and an original song prepared by my favorite little Irish librarian, Pat. It was all very sweet and perhaps a little sad.

I spent the rest of the afternoon packing away, until Alison came to pick me up for the annual Tucson Fire Chili Cook-off!

Andy, Alison's husband and one of my dearest high school friends (I can't tell you how many times he jumped my car after I had left my lights on all day in the school parking lot...), is a firefighter and ran the chili booth all day. There's a competition for the best chili and the best design. His station made this crazy Tiki themed volcano and accessorized accordingly:

Alison and I got tons of free tickets to wander around and sample all the chili. Being the babies we are though, all of the chili was too spicy. And when I say all the chili I really mean the two that we tried and then threw away. I know, we're brats. Instead we used all of our tickets to buy a humongous bag of kettle corn. Who's surprised?

Saturday morning came and went so quickly. The movers came, loaded up the truck, we cleaned the place from top to bottom (because my mother and I have a disease called "we're-obsessed-with-cleaning") and we were on the road by noon. Then... ten hours later... we made it to Toluca Lake. My mom's place is very adorable and very close to me. Perfect. Because I don't have a television. Oh, and I like her a lot, too.

Everything's in there now and she's slowly unpacking things. We had some silly movers help on Sunday morning with all of the furniture and big boxes. They were both old Guatemalan men who were very sweet but not very tactful. At the end of the move, the one man turned to me and said, "Where are the children?" "Uhh... the children?" "Yes, the children. There are boxes with baby things." "Oh! No kids. My mom is just a hoarder." "No, where are your children?" "...I don't have any children, I'm twenty-two." (Man's jaw drops, he crosses himself) "Jesus Cristo! I thought you were thirty-five!"

"...what? You think I'm thirty-five??" "OHhhhh no no no no! Not thirty-five. I thought you were in your early thirties."

...

I honestly can't even think of anything witty to say. I just hope that means I am going to age well. I mean, I know that packing can tire a girl out, but thirty-five?? I must have been looking haggard. Not that thirty-five means haggard, but it does when you're actually only twenty-two years old.

I have a very busy week before I head home for homecoming. I'm working both SOS and LUSH back to back three days in a row. Today I have roadshow training all day for our new Christmas items at LUSH. Have I mentioned I love working there? I hope everyone's okay with getting LUSH goodies as presents. (How could you not?)

On Monday at SOS (my payday consolidation call center job) we had a potluck and costume contest. I made little slice and bake cat cookies because I didn't have time to make them from scratch. But really, who's complaining? Those things are delicious.

The costume contest was relatively amusing. Red Sox went as Steve Jobs, we had a scary masked Chargers fan, so-called "sexy" pirates, and our new guy, Max, wore a Mexican wrestler mask the ENTIRE day. Even when he was making sales calls. Monday was his first day. I was kind of hoping it wasn't a costume and that he would wear it everyday. Drat. Sarah of course won the costume contest with her homemade Black Swan costume, complete with a two-tiered tutu. Here she is sitting at her desk on her exercise ball:

I went as a lazy football fan... wearing a jersey and black under my eyes. I know... LAME. I wanted to be safe though, just in case no one decided to wear anything. Two men did end up talking to me in the elevator on separate occasions though. So apparently if you want men's attention, the key is to not dress as a slutty mouse but actually as a tired, half-assed football fan.

I had a lot of really great costume ideas this year that never came to fruition. You know when Halloween happens and you think, "Oh man, I have such a good idea for next year!"-- and then you forget completely? Well this year, I actually had a WORD DOCUMENT on my laptop called HALLOWEEN COSTUME IDEAS. There were a good seven or eight to choose from. Rachel and I went to Goodwill a couple weeks ago to scope out some prospects. Then I realized...

When it comes to Halloween, I don't think like a girl. I think like an eight year old or like a hipster man.

My top ideas for this year?

Wayne from Wayne's World, Kip from Napoleon Dynamite, Puss in Boots, and the Brawny paper towel man. I'm used to being bizarre things for Halloween. Last year I was a yellow submarine and the year before that I was Frida Kahlo. Check it out:

You know, just Frida and Peter Pan hanging out, no big.

... Obviously I don't pull off sexy very well. But you give me a mustache and an unflattering outfit and I am SET.

Of course, none of my great ideas actually happened. I was so busy all weekend that I never had time to put them together. I ended up getting out my dirndl from my trip to Bavaria and wearing that last night. Which, come to think of it, is the closest to "femininity" of any costume I've ever worn. It was weird. Jackie's birthday was yesterday so we all surprised her on Halloween night at her friend Rebecca's. I unfortunately couldn't go out with them because I had to be at SOS this morning at 7 am. Boo. Darn jobs.

And now for the exciting reveal... Frasier's Halloween costume!!

...Yup. He hates me. It was worth $8 on Amazon though. Talk about a priceless ten minute photo shoot. This picture appropriately captures his wrath (and the fact that he is quite the chubbers):

...He actually does like me. Some days. Sometimes.

In other news--- I've been keeping up with running. San Francisco half marathon here I come! And guess what? I have a running buddy, too! I received a message last weekend from my dear friend Colton about perhaps joining forces. Colton and I have known each other for a couple years now, as so-called comedy troupe rivals at the University of Arizona and also in most of the same Media Arts classes. He's the best. He may have got me through a couple ridiculous classes my senior year, where some people (who shall go unnamed) pushed us to the end of our tether, patience-wise. We kept each other sane by writing back and forth on our Arizona Daily Wildcat and sharing exasperated facial expressions.

Turns out we're pretty evenly matched when it comes to running, too. And when I say running I really mean jogging. He lives right down the road from me which is completely convenient. When he got home he mapped it out and apparently it was about three miles. Not too shabby for a first run. For now we are just running on Monday evenings after he gets done with work (he's working at Conan! What!) I was surprised to find that I enjoy having someone to run with. Usually I feel self-conscious or nervous that I am going to hold them up. You just have to have the right kind of buddy, I guess!

Hmmm. I am sad to see October go. Luckily for me, November is next. And then December. This is the time of the year that goes by too quickly. The weather is lovely, things seem just a bit more cheery, and delicious food abounds. I'm all about it. But on a more important note... I am headed back to San Francisco! I decided I needed one final hurrah before my big girl job starts at the end of the month, and what better place to do it than in the city by the bay? I'm so excited. And this time, I WILL see the Golden Gate Bridge! For better or worse!

Lots of love and kisses.

Friday Wineday

[Okay. So I actually wrote this post last night. And before I got a chance to post it, I fell asleep. Cat and computer in lap. Hot mess. I thought I would post it in its raw organic form though, as it might be amusing. Enjoy!]

I just poured myself a glass of wine. A big glass of wine. I'm sitting in my apartment, on a Friday night, by myself, and I have opened a bottle of Chardonnay. If that doesn't sound like the beginning of a romantic comedy then I don't know what does. And then there's me: hair all over the place, lounging in sweats sans bra, listening to the Strokes, Weezer, and the Shins. I am Bridget Jones in the flesh. I'm just asking for a fantastical, romantic, comedic storyline. I'm sure it all sounds far more kitschy and cool than it looks right now. Cause right now it looks kinda pathetic.

I am exhausted.

I cannot even express to you how happy I am that it is Friday. Really. I've only had a good twenty hours of sleep in the last four days and I am pooped. It's been a good week-- I've been busy and I've been happy. But by golly Friday could not have come sooner.

I just got back from babysitting little baby Julia. We had a blast-- I taught her a dance to Beyonce's new song "Love on Top" (which I am completely obsessed with right now), we watched Ni-Hao Kai-lan and learned how to say "balloon" in Chinese, we cuddled in a blanket on the floor and pretended a big bad wolf was coming to get us, and even shared some apple slices. Such a lovely evening. Until bath time came... then the party was over. Poor little Julia was so overtired and I tried everything. After many tears, Cinderella readings, and rocking her while singing "The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michaelson over and over and over, she calmed down. Just in time for Lorelei to come home. Here I was, the baby-whisperer, back at square one. It was a sad way to end our happy evening. Especially because I had been looking forward to it so much! Well, you can't win 'em all. Look how sweet:

Love.

I worked my butt off at SOS this week. Here's a little secret I'll let you all in on: working in an office is dumb. No one does anything, and if they find out that you actually accomplish things when you're on the time clock, chances are they will not do their job and then give it to you. Luckily I am only going to be at this job for another month. I am kind of sad about it though. I really love Sarah and Danielle. They make it worth going to work everyday.

We got a new guy this week, too. Allow me to describe him: roughly 65 years old, balding, narrow eagle-like face, warm smile, dressed in black from head to toe including a tucked in shirt, black Skechers, and RED socks. Red socks. Everyday. Without fail. He also has two tattoos on either arm: one of an atom, and another of a cartoon English bulldog. He has a booming voice. The kind that makes your brain completely stop, especially when you're in the middle of leaving a message on someone's machine about consolidating their payday loans.

He's the kind of guy who is so nice and wants to be so helpful but you can't help but be completely annoyed with him the whole time. He talked to Katie yesterday for about an hour about existentialism and the Big Bang Theory. Ahem, during work. Apparently he has a book that's about to be published and it's going to "change the world".

Righttttt. Squid pro ro.

He also says "DEPOSIT ONLY" a million times. Our customers have to close out their bank account in order to secure it from their payday loan lenders, and sometimes it helps to make it DEPOSIT ONLY until they can get a new account. Usually I say this once. But once doesn't cut it for Red Socks. He has to say it MULTIPLE times in a loud, slow, pronounced voice. It drives Sarah and I crazy.

Hey guys, remember that time I wrote a blog post while drinking wine? That was a bad choice.

SOS gets more and more ridiculous everyday. Yesterday we had a skype conference with other sales agents in other cities. (There's only five of us total). I get a ridiculous amount of paperwork out everyday. Everyone knows it. And my boss turns to me, during the conference and says "Yeah, we've had a really good week. She... uhh.... (staring at me blankly)... SHE got twelve enrollments out yesterday."

Didn't know my name. There was no way I was going to give it to him.

Story of my life. You're welcome sir. I get here at 7 am everyday, get paid next to nothing, and make you a ton of business. And you don't know my name. Not even my fake caller name. Natasha and I were deeply offended. ONE. MONTH. MORE.

Luckily I have some seriously great friends. Jimmy and I have had opposite schedules recently. He's been working the night shifts at American Apparel as they're getting ready for their huge Halloween extravaganza. I left the apartment yesterday at 6:40 am... as he was walking up the stairs. It was ridiculous. Neither of us should have been coming or going to work when it was as dark and cold as it was. But we have both decided that life just kind of sucks right now. I'm coming to terms with it. And when I say sucks I am referring to the amount of time and effort I put into things and the compensation and happiness I get out of it. Not much. But MAN am I building character. That's what my twenty-second year is for, right?

One thing I am very excited about....

My first ever article was published!

It's a big deal for me. It was so bizarre writing it. I had to remind myself: "Okay, this isn't for school... and this isn't for you... you're writing this... for... people to read..."

I had free reign to write and explore. All I had to do was write about one red flag that can come up in relationships. Of course I could list a million, but I struggled to find a topic to start with. I finally settled on clichés, the bain of my romantic existence. I love creativity and I am so turned off by guys who continue to follow traditions because they can't think of anything else. It was so much fun to work on. I'm a real writer! I write things and people read them! And another thing I realized... I'm an adult writer. I can write about adult content because I am indeed, an adult. Weird.

Here's a link to the article!

http://www.redflag101.com/romantic-cliches/

You'll be surprised to know that I did NOT pick that cat picture on the post. My choice was replaced with that. Which takes away the legitimacy of my article just a tad...? Oh well.

I have been spending a lot of time with Jackie and Rachel this week. Jackie and I went to 24 Hour Fitness for a boot camp class the other day followed by dinner at her house. Lovely. Rachel and I also had a great night on Thursday--- conversation and dinner at Chevy's, visiting Sports Chalet to see if they had Sharks gear, thrift store shopping for Halloween costumes, then eating some It's-Its at my house. They're the most amazing ice cream sandwiches: vanilla ice cream between two oatmeal cookies, dipped in dark chocolate. It's ridiculous.

Rachel graduates from USC in December and is then moving to New York! I don't know what I am going to do without her. She's going to live in her family's huge home in New Jersey... by herself. Just 25 minutes from the city. Yes. I have thought about the possibility of moving there, too. It's still in the beginnings of thought so don't freak out. I'm simply thinking about how AMAZING that would be to live in/near NYC for part of my life. JUST thinking. But what an opportunity... and you all know how I feel about LA...

I'm so lucky to have good friends. They keep me so grounded. I can't tell you how much I value a good friend.

In other news: our gas has been turned off. It's a mystery as to why. We don't know why and the company doesn't know either. All they know is that they can't come out until THURSDAY to turn it back on. All I know is I can't make popcorn on the stove and I can't take a warm bath. If that's not a reason to go directly to bed I don't know what is. Oh, maybe too much wine, too.

I feel like so much of this has been negative. Here are some of my favorite things right now:

- Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Coffee
- Thrift store finds
- Homemade Halloween costumes and Frasier's hilarious costume... wait for it...
- Getting Sharks tickets in the mail

- The new Beyoncé "Love on Top" video and song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ob7vObnFUJc
I CAN'T STOP WATCHING/LISTENING TO IT
- Planning for the San Francisco half marathon in April
- My Hocus Pocus DVD that I ordered should be here any day...

There. That makes me feel better.

I cannot wait to wake up tomorrow and it not be a weekday. I am going to go to yoga, work on my Halloween costume (which --prepare yourself-- is very silly), clean my apartment, order things on Amazon (my most recent and dangerous obsession), hang out with Jimmy and Rachel, read, write, and SLEEP. No work. None at all. Just me, relaxing. In a very cold bath.

Sounds like heaven. Let me know if anyone wants to join me. Not in the bath. Just in happy life.

Kisses.

Write when you get work

What. A. Week.

Life as a twenty-two-year-old is crazy. Crazy fun, of course, but mostly just crazy. I wake up some mornings and have to remind myself where I am. Not because I am waking up in places other than my own bed, thank you very much-- simply because I still can't believe I'm in LA. I'm kind of doing it.

In all honesty, I don't really know what I'm doing. I keep thinking about something Steve Jobs said in his commencement speech to the 2005 graduating class at Stanford:

You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

Life can feel so overwhelming. Sometimes I just wake up and remind myself that all I have to do is meet the Universe halfway. I get up, I do my part, I don't half-ass things, and I hope that serendipity finds me somewhere in the middle.

I have been incredibly fortunate since moving to LA. Right place, right time, great people, experiences, lessons, and now even better opportunities. I received three jobs this week and I am... thrilled. Thrilled, thankful, and very, very lucky.

The first job?

A writing position for a dating and relationship advice website called RED FLAG 101! The site is geared towards discussing the red flags associated with dating. We all know those moments in relationships when we should silently turn around and run the other direction. But if you're like me, you don't. Partly because I like learning life lessons firsthand and partly because I am a naïve romantic. I don't regret that though--- it makes for better stories and better decisions in the future. (That's the idea at least).

I found the job on Craigslist about a month ago and forwarded along a link to my blog. The creator of the site, a guy by the name of Minor, checked out some of my posts and liked what he saw... and here we are! I'll be writing one to two mini articles a week which is totally doable. I spend my free time writing anyways so it will be so nice to have a focus. And boy oh BOY do I have material. I haven't decided if I am going to write under a pen name or not... perhaps I shall. I'll think about it.

Here's a link to the website! It does have some adult themes, so for all you timid, wholesome souls out there, be warned:

www.redflag101.com

Speaking of dating, I wanted to talk about something really quick. I want to address the whole OkCupid thing. Last post I talked about going on the website again after an earlier stint in the summer as a social/writing material experiment. I understand that by saying I was back on the website, you can come to three valid conclusions: (1) that I am looking for a boyfriend, (2) that I am looking around for options in general, and (3) that I think that online dating is legitimate.

These are all logical assumptions.

None of these are true.

Let me address this as best I can.

I'm not looking. I'm completely happy and very lucky with how everything has been going in my life. It's been refreshing and lovely and exciting. And thirdly, I personally only believe in real, natural, unexplicable attraction and good timing.

I posted my blog last week when my heart was in a bit of a funk. Part of it completely understands that it's not time for things like Like/Love. It's clearly time for me to put on my Work Barbie outfit and be serious about success right now. Which I LOVE! I am so excited that that part of my life is starting to open. So the other part of my heart, which is feeling a bit left out, is trying its hardest to pretend not to care.

What I am trying to say, rather ineloquently, is that I was trying my best to appear aloof. I don't carry vulnerabilities well, and apparently my defense mechanism came in the form of a flippant paragraph about online dating. The last thing I want is to be misrepresented, especially by myself. Silly.

Thank you for allowing me to clarify.

AAANNND We're back! Man that was a weird subplot twist. Where were we...

Ah yes, I believe I was talking about jobs?

My second job: as a tour guide for Goin' Hollywood Tours! Goin' Hollywood runs high school drama field trips to Hollywood and other performance-based destinations. The company is owned by Camp Bravo and that's actually how I learned about Bravo in the first place-- with my drama class way back when! There is nothing I love more than Camp Bravo and kids, so to be able to give back even more during the rest of the year is such an awesome opportunity. I have my first training trip at the beginning of November and I can't wait. It's only a weekend job from time to time and it's extremely flexible... so it won't conflict with my most exciting news...

I start work as a Publicity Assistant for the Screen Actor's Guild Awards next month!

I got the call Friday night and I have been on cloud nine ever since. I can't wait to get started. Everyone I met when I went into the office the other day was absolutely wonderful. There was a great energy there and I am so honored to be a part of it. My job will be to help monitor the publicity and buzz leading up to the SAG awards!

I am a happy happy girl. I start at the end of November... so just enough time for me to REALLY appreciate it after a whole month more of consolidating payday loans for nine hours a day. Time for me to use that degree in Film and Television I worked so hard for.

SPEAKING of that... Look what came in the mail the other day!

Yup, that's my diploma alright. And Frasier's tail. Yes, he's on the table because he thinks he runs the place. I'm so excited to get a frame for my diploma and hang it in my... wait. What the heck am I supposed to do with it? I don't have an office or a den. Hmph. Looks like it'll just have to sit above my $15 IKEA desk when I'm writing. If that's not motivational I don't know what is.

Monday and Tuesday morning I worked half days and then headed to Jackie's makeup school to be a model! I know, hilarious. After lots of hairspray and teasing and powdery makeup, I looked like this:

Yikes. This picture is BIZARRE. I look like I am sixty five with jowls and a lazy eye. Clearly I was intentionally trying to look the part. ...Clearly. It was a good experience though, until the teacher came around to analyze the makeup. She instructed my makeup artist, Hillie, that not only did one of my eyebrows need to be filled in, but also that my upper lip line is completely uneven on one side and needed more attention.

Thanks, teacher.

My mom drove out here on Wednesday! This picture was taken in front of Lululemon at the Americana shopping center in Glendale. We were wandering around, enjoying Honey Lavender ice cream (my favorite!) from LA Creamery, talking about life, when we stumbled upon this storefront window, after I had literally said the same quote to her. So of course, an obligatory picture was taken.

We had such a lovely weekend--- most of it spent looking for places for her when she moves out here at the end of the month. I am very excited to have my mum nearby again. I've been missing my cooking and movie watching buddy. We found her a little place in Toluca Lake about ten minutes away. Joy! But really, I'm most excited that Bob Hope's house is a block away from her new place. He's my hero.

Get a look at one of the applications she filled out:

If you can't read it, this is what it says:

- Have you ever been evicted for non-payment of rent or any other reason?
- Have you ever been convicted of any crime?
- Do you have any musical instruments?

Well at least they've got their priorities in order.

I also had the special opportunity to see my dear friend LAURA this weekend! Laura was my roommate freshman year at U of A. We hadn't seen each other in years! She was visiting from Texas, staying with her sweet friend Katie who also went to Arizona. We all met in Newport Beach at Fashion Island to do some catching up!

I introduced them to Pinkberry which of course was a huge hit. We wandered through stores laughing and chatting all the while. I seriously love Laura. She's like a sister, really. It was like we were never apart. We also stumbled into a pet store--- complete with my new favorite puppy...

A buggle! It's half English bulldog, half puggle (which is half pug, half beagle). Sounds like an American dog to me.

Woof. It's been a long week. And looky there... Monday is on the horizon. How'd that happen? I'm working another thirteen hour work day tomorrow... eight at SOS and five at LUSH. Oy.

Here's to another week of collecting more dots to connect. Someday.

Kisses.