Setting the Mood

Okay. Popcorn popped. Window slightly ajar. Yorkshire tea in hand. The mood is set. Ahem...

But wait! Pardon my inattentiveness-- allow me to set the mood for you, too. Here are some songs for you to play while reading this. Some of my favorites at the moment:

- Two Weeks by GRIZZLY BEAR: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPXDJQkuWeA

- You Give Me Something by JAMES MORRISON: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZp6dhheriM&ob=av2e (Poor James Morrison. It's better if you don't watch him singing this. It ruins the illusion.)

- Starlight by MUSE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4P3SHXQEpRU

Alrighty!

I started thinking this morning how important "setting the mood" is in our everyday lives. You know that feeling when something happens that you've been waiting for, and you think "No! No no! Stop, that's not at all how I pictured this. The situation is all wrong. Can we try this again?" Recently I've been really into visualizing future desires but only focusing on the end result. For example: I know I want to one day have a great little place and community, but I'm not sure where that is quite yet. So I just visualize the feeling that end result is going to give me: happiness, comfort, peace, excitement. Then the Universe figures out all of the details on the way.

It's okay to be more specific for visualization purposes, but not to attach too fervently to them. Use them more as inspiration to find those feelings. Recently I've been visualizing this: I'm in an apartment with a view of a delightful city, covered in lights. Listening to French jazz with warm cozy lighting... a little balcony with glass doors open just enough... ... perhaps in heels and a sassy dress, slow dancing slowly around the living room. But of course I don't know where or when. Just a little visualization. But if you keep things open, then it will all unfold into more of an adventure. I don't want to limit the Universe's capabilities, you know? Much more exciting that way.

If you're wondering what the heck I am blathering on about, check out the documentary/book The Secret, anything by Mike Dooley, or visit Tut.com and sign up for "Notes from the Universe" daily emails. All pretty amazing.

I have had the most lovely day. I woke up and went to Yoga Shelter at 7 am, despite not sleeping too well last night. Then I made a yummy little breakfast sandwich with a whole wheat english muffin and a pile of scrambled eggs and veggies. NOM. Then --get this-- I took a bath.

Life is hard.

It was so delightful and so necessary. Speaking of setting the mood-- I lit candles, put on a fresh LUSH mask, arranged a special little playlist on my iTunes (featuring A Fine Frenzy, Beyoncé, and perhaps even some J.Biebs... shh), and finally used one of the million LUSH bath bombs I have sitting in a basket by my tub. This was my pick:

Yes it is called 'Sex Bomb'. The combination of scents and essential oils (jasmine, vanilla, and ylang ylang) creates a natural aphrodisiac. Jasmine and vanilla are also part of an old recipe for love potion. So, if you notice you are slowly falling in love with me, it probably has to do with LUSH. Sorry about that.

A seriously awesome bath. Despite my setting the mood-- it wasn't quite as perfect as I had planned. Frasier was very annoyed/nervous about me being in the bathtub surrounded by purple water. He just stared at me from the top of his litter box with huge cat pupils and meowed the whole time. So much for being peaceful.

Oh man, I also just found the 69¢ section on iTunes! What?! Does everyone know about this? The price of songs on iTunes always seems to be going up. But 69¢? That I can do. I got about ten new songs, one of them being this really weird indie song by a band called Dawes. The song is called "Time in Los Angeles". It's not very good. I pretty much got it because it said Los Angeles in the title. Ha. Well, that and listen to this lyric:

"You've got that special kind of sadness/ You've got that tragic set of charms/ That only comes from time spent in Los Angeles/ Makes me want to wrap you in my arms."

...Uhhh... I can't tell if that means I am special and unique because I have lived in LA or if that makes me kinda pathetic and hollow? Eh? Whatever, it was 69¢. It's already paid for itself in thoughts.

I've had a busy last couple of days, too. Thursday night was very exciting at Bang, thanks to the Fred Willard sketch show and Schwag. Johnny's dad was in town so we all headed to Sam's after the show to celebrate with margaritas... with bananas in them... Don't look at me, it wasn't my idea. But I kind of wish it was, it was super delish.

Rachel went back to NorCal for a dentist appointment (teeth are important! At least in America...) so I drove back and forth between LAX dropping and picking her up. Also, I finally got my freaking room in order. And oh man, does it look GOOD. Check it.

The sleeping area...

The dresser-ing area...

The scarf-ing area...

The shelf-ing and guitar-ing area...

...and the bathing area.

Pretty snazzy, right? I feel so much better now that everything has a place... oh gosh... again, setting the mood... see what I'm talking about?

On Saturday night after fixing up my place I drove out to Long Beach to meet Mariko. We have a very, very strange tradition of making chocolate chip cookies for Bravo events. But I'll get to that later. Mari was stuck at work so I tried to find a grocery store around her house to get last minute ingredients. I was on the phone with Jackie and somehow got lost despite the fact that I have a GPS... ending up in Lil' Mexico.

I found a grocery store called "Northgate Market". I couldn't find a darn Vons or Stater Bros to save my life so this would have to do. I walked in and everything was in spanish. I got lots of weird, weird looks. I tried to look less white but failed miserably. Stupid skin color. But then-- all of a sudden all of my magical spanish speaking skills came back to me! Just kidding. I found the nearest exit and left. I didn't realize there were mexican food markets! How exciting! I thought they only had asian markets. I'm not forgetting that. As I walked out I checked the sign again. "Gonzales' Northland Market". Ah, I see. Details, kids. Details.

Rule #1: Pay Attention.

I drove back to Mari's and we made my special chocolate chip cookies from scratch! Delish. Okay so the cookies... about 3 years ago now I made the drive out to California to see Blake in a very humorous version of Midsummer Night's Dream. While Mari and I were out walking around Long Beach, we stumbled upon a crazy adult store. We left with a rainbow cat sticker for Frasier's carrier (because he has lots of gay cat pride) and phallic cookie cutters. We made some for Blake's show and thought we were pretty hilarious. Well now that I live here, we have no excuse to not use those cookie cutters. People love them for some reason. Pair their silly shape with my delicious cookie dough and its a recipe for entertaining success.

Yup. They're big cookies.

We drove out to Huntington Beach where a couple Bravo friends had reserved two hotel rooms for us to hang out in. We played games, had a funny little version of trust circle, and had lots of jello shots. We all get along very well, despite little doses of drama-- but what else would you expect from family?

Aww... and look at this.

That's my senior picture in Nikolai's wallet! I gave that to him four years ago and he still has it in there, right after his sister. I'm honored.

Such a fun weekend with Bravo. But who's surprised?

In other news: I am contemplating grad school. I KNOW. What? Why?

Here's my reasoning:
1) I kinda like school (in some sick twisted way)
2) People will take me more seriously when looking for jobs/as a writer. Everyone has a bachelor's these days...
3) If I could find a program that has some sort of work/study/teaching assistant option I could go to school and still 'get paid'. Well, that's the idea at least.

I'm going to see how this next year goes, I guess. I started looking at some programs online, mostly in Northern California... and some in the UK. One in Bath and one at... UEA in Norwich. Which made me very homesick for England. Waa. We'll see how much money I rake in this year (that means I'm going to make so much money that I will need a room where I tend to it with actual garden tools-- WOW). I'll keep ya'll updated once I start getting info in the mail that I requested.

The sketch show I was in just technically 'closed' this weekend. We are in talks to extend it though! Here's a little pic for those of you who missed it:

Man that show was hilarious. And I really can't say enough good things about these people. Super awesome and a true delight to work with. I'm missing them already.

So bad news: we had to cancel our San Francisco trip. A little A lottle bummed out. Johnny has to go back to Tucson to finish his last lame semester of school. Rude. But that means I am headed to Tucson this weekend! Woo! Johnny, Jimmy, Rory, and I are roadtripping down for the weekend to drop lil' Johnny off at school. I can't wait to head back to have a little more time with family and friends, especially after only having 24 hours in Tucson when I went to grab my stuff a couple weeks ago. San Fran will happen one day though. Jimmy and I are looking at the first weekend of September. So... yay!

Alrighty, I'm off to make some dinner. Rory has a show at iO West so Becca, Johnny, Jimmy, Madison, and I are headed over there tonight. Then who knows? The world is my oyster. Well, it's yours, too. We can share. Kisses.

Lovely Jubblies

Life is good. Sitting in my breezy little apartment in Studio City, enjoying an inaugural artichoke and froyo Ben & Jerry's-- not simultaneously. Spent the morning driving Rachel to the airport, completing errands, wandering and fantasizing through IKEA, and pretending I'm being active by wearing workout clothes and tennis shoes. Today is especially good because I just had what Oprah would refer to as an "Aha" moment.

I want to write.

What started as a blog to update others on my progress in LA has turned into somewhat of a passion. My mind is constantly collecting ideas and events to write about later. I don't feel forced into writing--- in fact, I'm kind of in love with it. There are tons of writers out in the world, why can't I be one of them?

Imagine: reading a weekly column or blog post about things you should know/care about, written by yours truly. Comedic commentary on everyday things. Classy. Fun for the whole family.

Move over Carrie Bradshaw, there's a new sassy writer girl in town! (...with much less provocative content, believe me).

Now I just need to find an Aiden...

I've been keeping an eye on Craigslist jobs in LA and have been spending most of my time on the writing/editing jobs section. Lots of blog writers needed, lots of editing web content, etc. I could definitely see myself loving that. I usually spend a good two to three hours (if not more) on each of my own blog posts, writing, editing, and carefully rewording things to make my entries digestible to everyone (not just mothers who will sit through anything with a proud smile). I love writing. Now just to find an outlet that pays more than this one... (I think I'm up to $1.52 from ads on my blog. YES.)

Good. Goal set. Game on. Step one: apply for said Craigslist jobs. Will do, after I finish writing this.

Also on my list of things to do today: send in Frasier's application for "My Cat from Hell", a new Animal Planet show about-- you guessed it-- demon cats who ruin lives.

Yikes. Anyone who knows Frasier will understand the likelihood of him getting on this show. The ad was on Craigslist (which is ironic, because that's where I got Frasier) and was offered only to those with possessed cats in the LA area. Perfect. It promises a $1000 compensation and a "well-behaved" cat. Ha. Frasier has recently mutilated my right leg and foot, complete with deep gashed scratches and bruises. And he doesn't do this to just anyone. Only me. Lucky, lucky me. When he wants to love, there isn't a cat who's sweeter. But if I am gone for too long or I'm at the house during his nap time, my ankles and legs are fair game. It's pretty embarrassing, really. But he's going to get some help soon hopefully. Hmm... apparently from this guy, Jackson Galaxy:

Riggghhhtt. Squid pro ro. Well if I can't succeed as a writer I guess I can always just grow out my goatee and be a cat whisperer. I think Frasier has a pretty good chance of being on the show. He's pretty photogenic and almost angelic looking which could make for quite a good twist.

And I think I could be relatively entertaining as well. Especially when they have to film him being a jerk and I have to bleed. Luckily I have a high pain tolerance. Check it:

Woof. I'm in an abusive relationship... with my cat.

Moving on. Tuesday I had my LUSH skin care training! It was incredibly fun. I got paid to watch videos of English people talk about skin care, get a facial, and I got free stuff, too (Not to mention I accidentally took a purple pen that I am kind of obsessed with... oops!). It was a blast.

Most of the people that work at LUSH are either girls or gay boys (kind of like our audience at Darwin shows, amiright?). For the training they collected several LUSH stores from the LA area together, meaning lots of new faces. One guy stuck out like a sore thumb. He looked a bit like Jim from The Office, tall and vulnerably attractive. He was also refreshingly straight, making him the focus of everyone in the room. He must love his job. When we had to pair up for facial massages, my partner girl was whisked off for demonstrational purposes. Leaving me alone. I sheepishly announced to the room that I was the loser without a partner. When from across the room waves Jim-boy.

Ohhhh the looks I received from girls and boys alike. It was ridiculous. He was a very nice guy named Garrison. Unfortunately I made everything very awkward very fast though. I mean, we were going to be massaging each others' faces. Really, the odds were against me being normal in this situation.

With facial massages you have the person sit in a folding chair in front of you and have them lean the back of their head against your body. Well with our proportions, he was basically cradled between my... well, boobs. Oi. I made some really pathetic LUSH joke-- we have a product called "Lovely Jubblies", a lotion that we recommend for putting on your neck, chest and decolletage to tighten everything (because it has evening primrose and tiger lilly extract in it-- hey, I just went through eight hours of skin care training!)-- so I said, "Ulll... Uh oh. This might be awkward. Looks like you have a front row seat to 'lovely jubblies'. Heh. heh.".

Yup. The things I say. (shakes head). He chuckled dutifully and said he didn't mind, and I'm sure he didn't. We then had to switch. He had to squat down so I had something besides his crotch to lean up against. Ugh. His poor hands were shaking and WAY too big for my face. The leader-girl kept coming around and telling him to be careful not to smother me. Ha. It was very silly. My friend Ricky made faces at me the entire time, then awkwardly joked afterwards that it looked like "the best first date, ever". Goodness. All in all a good training day. I start work at the Glendale location this weekend! What up, ten minute drive!

I've been spending most of my free time with Mariko, Rachel, Blake, and Nikolai. Like I said before, every year when I get back from Bravo there is a withdrawal period that is only made easier with Bravo interaction. We all still can't get over the fact that I live here now. Yesterday Mari and I wandered around Target for an hour or so with no real intention. Those are the kind of things I miss out on when I don't live with friends-- the little moments. Here's a picture of Mariko looking super asian in a Target hat:

I mean, she usually looks asian, she's half-japanese. Still funny.

I'm headed to Bang in a little bit. Fred Willard and his Mo-ho group are back in town, woo!

In other news, Johnny, Jimmy, Becca and I are planning a trip to San Francisco in a week or so and I really could not be any more pumped. Really.

Thanks everyone for reading along. One day when I am a very posh, famous writer you can claim that you read my stuff before it was cool to do so. And then I'll sign things for you and give it to you for 20% off.

Kisses.

Hellooooo Übers!

...and we're back!

I just got home from my favorite place in the world. A lovely little break from the craziness that is LA. Man, oh manischewitz did I need a breather.

I had been spending all of my days on the 405, slowly dying inside. Here's a picture of me on the onramp out of Santa Monica. I was on the ramp for twenty minutes before even getting onto the freeway. Lovely, right?

For three hours a day I was sitting in traffic to get to my part-time, basically minimum wage retail job where I pay $9 for parking a day. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore working at LUSH. My manager and co-workers are amazing and I get a ridiculously awesome discount on things I would be buying anyways, not to mention I smell like a gosh darned angel everyday. The whole driving thing has been wearing down on me a lot, despite my efforts to make it as enjoyable as possible with music and positive thinking. I would wake up super excited to go to work and wear myself out on the drive. Silly. I just transferred locations though! I start in Glendale this week-- an easy drive down the 134 and free parking. I'm in heaven.

It's a much smaller store but still super cute and cozy.

Oh! I'm also rounding home base on my internship with Bang. What a summer. Just turned in my final paperwork and I'm all set. Can't wait to get my diploma in the mail, finally.

Two months into LA. Done. Check. Nice work. Lots to be proud of.

(Sigh), I needed a vacation.

Semi-annually, like clockwork, my stress and exhaustion build up until they are almost unbearable. Despite my cheery smile and bouncy hair, I am quietly self-destructing. (This is all of course much less dramatic than I make it sound in writing, it's all just for effect, I promise). I get to release all of this negative energy (1) at Christmas time with the help of yuletide cheer, The Santa Clause, Elf, Bing Crosby singing "The Christmas Song", and baking fudge; and (2), in the beginning of August, nestled deep in the San Bernardino forest up a little curvy road above Redlands.

My home and my escape: Camp Bravo.

If there was a heaven on earth, it would be Bravo. Maybe 'sanctuary' is a better word. I always try and talk about it with others but it never quite translates unless you have been there to experience the magic that goes on up that mountain. I'm sure you have seen scenes from movies growing up about kids at camp and thought that it was all fake.

My favorite example: The Parent Trap (the one with Lindsey Lohan before she lost her mind). Everyone's leaving and crying in the camp scene and you're sitting on the couch thinking, "Uh, sure. You dummies have known each other a week. Stop pretending like you could care so much. Get to the part where Hallie's in the car in London while 'Here Comes the Sun' is playing and then she gets to go to her mother's wedding dress shop with the top hats. Gosh dangn't, Disney, I only get to see this movie three times a year during the summer, get to the good part."

No? Just me? Moving on.

Well those scenes are actually pretty accurate depictions of camp life done right. Bravo has this way of soothing, inspiring, and recharging everyone. We're family. Whenever I'm down, I know exactly who to call to make me feel better, or better yet, they somehow know to call me first. There's something about Bravo people: they truly invest in your feelings and opinions, they listen a little more intently, they genuinely will do anything for you, and they totally 100% believe in you. It's the warmest feeling.

Bravo is where I met my very best friends: Blake, Nikolai, Rachel, and Mariko. Here's a picture of Rachel, Blake, Nikolai, and I when we were just little camper babies. I had only known them for a week when this was taken. I can't imagine where or what I would be doing without the family I have made at Bravo.

I have had a very different experience at Bravo then others. I was only a camper for one year-- and I aged out that year. I then applied to be a counselor and was very lucky to have been chosen from a group of fantastic people. I have now been with Bravo for five years--- very miniscule compared to others who have been with the company since they were eleven. Most people are super supportive of my being new to Bravo and don't treat me any differently. But (...there's always a but) there are also a handful who are, I don't know, slightly offended/annoyed by it? (Not the majority of course, just a couple of dumb babies that ruin it for everyone) (That was a Rugrats reference, if you were wondering).

Oh well, it's never really bothered me. I don't let it. I have my own relationship with Bravo and it is what it is. And really, as much as I personally get out of Camp Bravo, I really do it for those kids. I can see how much it can transform their lives and that's all that matters. I've seen some campers brighten from year to year, becoming stronger and more resilient and proud. Bravo changes lives, I kid you not.

Here's me and one of my favorite campers, Jack. I have been his counselor since he was 13. I swear he grows a foot each year. He's the best.

At this point Bravo people are nodding and smiling and saying, "Right on. You know it" and the unBravo people are going, "Move on. We get it".

I'm not sure how I plan on covering what I have done/experienced this week. But I am sure as hell going to try.

After working all day Saturday I packed up my stuff and drove to Long Beach to meet Mariko. Mari and I have worked as co-counselors together for the last four years. Now we have both become Übers-- Assistant Camp Directors. Quite the honor. They only get new Übers when they need them, which hasn't been for at least four or five years, so there isn't a training manual or anything. We spent the week running around camp, pretending to have our crap together. It was a blast. We played pranks, hung out with the campers, counselors, and teachers, and participated in camp activities in new ways. It's been so interesting to see Bravo from a camper, counselor, and then Über point of view. I'm very lucky. Even more lucky to learn everything with Mari. She's truly a bright light in my world.

Right? She's adorable. Mari and I have too much fun together. We're also an unstoppable team. We rock good cop/bad cop. You decide who's who.

I am also so lucky to be working alongside David and Artur, the camp directors. They are my heroes. Not to mention all of the counselors and teachers. They made the week so hilariously fun. UGH I love them, it hurts.

And how could I possibly forget, my two favorite boys in the world:

Blake and Nikolai. The three of us together is just pure happiness. I honestly couldn't love them more than I do. They spoil me. We're all just super protective of each other's well being. My transition to LA would have been much more difficult without them.

It was such a great week. We had an awesome teaching staff and great campers as always. Things are always challenging, but so rewarding. The week always flies by. There are so many funny stories I could tell, but I know it can be overwhelming. So here are some summaries:

- Every time Mariko and I would see Cabin 6 boys they would yell, "Hellloooo Überrrssss!" Very flattering to our egos, really. Sweet boys. By Blake and Nikolai's instruction though, of course. Here's a picture of them at the dance with a routine choreographed by one of the cabin 6 boys, Flynn.

They were also always coming up with new ways to welcome David, Artur, Mari and I for when we made nighttime rounds. My favorite: the boys stacked up like human Lincoln Logs followed by Blake and Nikolai serenading us with I'll Cover You from Rent. Hilarious.

- Mariko and I also played some pranks--- big and small. One night I sprinted into cabin 6 after rounds one night, slammed the door behind me, and through heavy pants said, "There's an f-ing bear outside". All the boys jumped up and ran to the door, clenching their fists, their hunting/protecting instincts kicking in, strategizing how they were going to handle the situation while Blake yelled, "Everyone CALM DOWN, NO ONE is leaving the cabin!" before Mariko leaped out and roared and banged on the window. Classic. Then they had to play it off like they knew all along, cause they're boys. Of course.

We also arranged a hostile camper takeover reminiscent of Lord of the Flies. The counselors were tied up in the center of their color groups while the campers made savage noises and shook tree branches around while dancing in a circle. When we came down for lineup and breakfast... it looked hilarious. Artur got a kick out of it.

Our big ongoing prank was on Edgar, the combat teacher. We hid some rubber chickens in his room, and he slowly found them over a two day period. Then he threatened us with the "wrath of Edgar" and that we shouldn't "F with him". So we found a raft box and labeled it "The Wraft of Edgar?" and hung the chickens all over his room with little paper wings. We thought it was funny. Not much of a prank, just funny to see his reactions.

- A lot of the usual Bravo things happened, too. Meal times, hot tubbing, staff collage, eating WAY too much candy (I could have --and almost did-- singlehandedly take down an entire Jelly Belly container from Costco. No shame. Honestly the amount of coffee and sugar that goes into my body at Bravo is kind of embarrassing), the black & white ball/dance, Hairspray movie/sing along night, trust circle-- the works. So much fun.

I feel completely recharged. Bring it, life. It's just that little oomph I needed to get me motivated to get things rolling in the right direction. Oh Bravo.

Okay. We can move on now.

My sketch show at BANG opened last night! Blake and Nikolai were nice enough to hustle down the mountain to come see it. They were (unfortunately but not surprisingly) tardy for the party. They did however pay for their tickets anyways, brought me a huge bouquet of flowers (in Bravo color group theme), and candy to help wean me off my current sugar addiction. It was a really fun show! We have one more performance next Sunday if anyone is in town!

I told you they spoil me. The best kind of brothers.

My mom and Connie came out this weekend to visit, too! So fun. We went and ate at Fritto Misto in Santa Monica-- it is the Griddle Cafe of Italian restaurants; a non-negotiable compulsory stop, no discussions. Connie was very excited to go the Griddle though, too. She's one my biggest (self-proclaimed) blog fans, so of course she knew where she would be eating Sunday morning. Here's Connie with her peanut butter crusted french toast with lots of whipped cream! MMM...

Also, I found out the host at the Griddle on Sunday mornings used to work at Bang... so I dropped some names and he sat us right away, with a line of others ahead of us waiting. Alrighhhtttt.... Man, I'm so LA. I'm sure it made me look very important.

Ha.

Okay. I unfortunately have more to unpack, not to mention all my stinky camp clothes to take care of. I think Blake and Nikolai and I are spending another evening hanging out. It can be a weird transition coming down the mountain--- getting back to normal life. It's much easier with others around to make everything go by smoothly. And how weird... the first time I don't have to drive nine hours home to Arizona! Just a short 40 minutes away. I'm a very lucky and happy girl.

Hope everyone finds their own way to recharge themselves this week. Or better yet, I hope you have your life so together and you are so positive that you simply don't need it. Yes?

I will catch up with my own life soon. Soon. I still feel like I am sprinting behind, trying to grab onto its' coattails. Give me some time, I'll get there. Kisses everyone.